[Patty]

Holidays arent what they used to be for me.I liked them much more when my grandfathers were around.I get kind of down around the holidays.We were so close and every time I think about the memories he left behind I breakdown and cry only wishing to have him back.Its been 2 years since he left.I still never seem to get over it,thought I would but didnt.It comes back to me every year,on the holidays.

[Tony T]

Holidays seem to bring a lot of people down, for some reason. I think it's because our memories are heightened during those times when we are young and we remember the wonderful times we spent with people we loved when we get older.

At least you can be grateful for some wonderful memories you had with your grandfathers. Perhaps I am better off than you...both of mine had passed away before I was born so I am minus memories of them that could have otherwise saddened me. But, frankly, I would have preferred to have known them and paid for those great times with a little sadness now.

Most probably your grandfathers are looking down on you now and wishing you had a big smile on your face.

Hi Patty,

I'm in the missing Grandpa boat with you. Mine died last year and my Grandma's dementia/alzheimers kicked in full time after that. This year I've decided to call and invite a couple people over for a movie and leftovers Thanksgiving night... There is a divorced woman who has a teenage daughter that goes to our church. The daughter is awkward and lonely because she's pretty much of a misfit but we've become acquainted playing together in the orchestra.

It feels nice to reach out to someone who is in worse shape than I am. I'll still miss Grandpa, will still feel upset that Grandma is losing her mind in the nursing home... but at least I won't be alone and it will be nice to help someone else's loneliness too.

You can talk to your Grandfathers in your heart (or out loud) and even devote a slice of turkey or other goodies that they liked to them. That is what I do. I remember my grandfather liked certain foods and when I eat an especially good example of them, I look up to heaven and say, "Grandpa, this one's for you!"

Holidays are about family and we can't help but miss our dear ones who used to sit around the table with us. It will never be the same without them. But, as Tony says, we are lucky that they were in our lives and that we have learned a lot from them.

Hi Patty, I'm in the missing Grandpa boat with you. Mine died last year and my Grandma's dementia/alzheimers kicked in full time after that. This year I've decided to call and invite a couple people over for a movie and leftovers Thanksgiving night... There is a divorced woman who has a teenage daughter that goes to our church. The daughter is awkward and lonely because she's pretty much of a misfit but we've become acquainted playing together in the orchestra. It feels nice to reach out to someone who is in worse shape than I am. I'll still miss Grandpa, will still feel upset that Grandma is losing her mind in the nursing home... but at least I won't be alone and it will be nice to help someone else's loneliness too.