There is this guy that I do not know much about but we are both grad students in the same program. We have "known" each other for a couple of years now. Until a year ago I had a long-term and long-distance relationship that everyone knew about. Since the break up I have not been with anyone, mosty because noone caught my eyes. But with this guy it is different. We used to exchange looks every now and then for the past year but about a month ago there was this party where we chatted more than usual. He also stared at me almost all the time, made lots of jokes and commented on how "cool" I am. After that night every time we see each other, I can feel there is some chemistry but he doesn't seem to do anything to take it further. I am trying to make opportunities where we could spend some time together but he usually doesn't show up. (For example, we have departmental happy hours every friday night and lately I am going there with the hopes of seeing him. I know he used to go most of the time and I did not. My friends are very surprised at my eagerness to go to happy hours every week. But he doesn't show up!) I am losing hopes.
Today he had a presentation with a classmate of him. I sent both guys an email wishing good luck last night. I heard back from his friend saying thank you, but not from him.
I know, from what I wrote it seems that there is no interest on his side but I believe he is interested in me. He seems to come to my office more than usual, pretending that he needs to talk to my officemate, and he usually gives me long looks and watches my every move. Also, whenever he makes jokes he looks at me and keeps looking at me until I look elsewhere.
What should I do?
Could it be that he is very shy? Or maybe too busy? (I am pretty sure he is not seeing anyone)
Any ideas?
I am also kind of shy but I really want to know him better.
Thanks!
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Kevin Lomax: What about love?
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Symbol, if you think he's checkin' you out, then he probably is. Forget the waiting and second guessing. Approach him and say 'Hey, I'm gonna ask you out for tea tomorrow. You in or not' . Seriously.....
Approach him and say 'Hey, I'm gonna ask you out for tea tomorrow. You in or not' . Seriously.....
Thank you for the suggestion elijahBailey! I am a little shy, I don't know if I can do something like that. Also, I am not very used to rejection. My last relationship lasted for almost 8 years (and I am 26) so I am not very experienced with these things myself.
Thank you for the suggestion elijahBailey! I am a little shy, I don't know if I can do something like that. Also, I am not very used to rejection. My last relationship lasted for almost 8 years (and I am 26) so I am not very experienced with these things myself.
If you think you gonna stammer if you see him face to face, then text him or email him instead. Ahhh... the beauty of technology
Do you have to see each other everyday? If that's the case you should take it slow and be a bit surer about what he's feeling, or else you might make for some very awkward work places.
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Do you have to see each other everyday? If that's the case you should take it slow and be a bit surer about what he's feeling, or else you might make for some very awkward work places.
That's another concern of mine. I don't see him everyday but it's just our schedules don't match this semester. But we have many common friends and I would feel very uncomfortable if he turned me down and this was known by other people.
I guess I need a way to implicitly show him that I am interested. So far glances worked out fine but they are not taking us anywhere...
A mutual friend could do some probing for you. That would be the best way... middle schoolish? haha.
As a matter of fact I asked my best friend to talk to one of our mutual friends and tell him that this guy and I could be a great match. This mutual friend was apparently a little surprised at this match (probably beause I am known to have too high standards - at least that's what most of my friends say) yet he promised my best friend that he would try to help us get closer but he has not done much - I guess he did not have too many opportunities.
And yes, I agree, it is middle schoolish! I don't even remember when was the last time a friend of mine did probing for me.
But we have many common friends and I would feel very uncomfortable if he turned me down and this was known by other people.
If you just ask him out for tea, he turns you down and proceeds to tell it to all of your common friends (which btw I don't think is going to happen),
then you were just being friendly and asking him out for tea and he is a dork with a big head.
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how to get closer to him?
. Seriously.....
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