I am looking for some advice on an issue I have with my girlfriend. Basically she doesn't lilke my friends and family.
She says my parents and my best friend hate her because they dont talk to her but this is completely unfounded.
Also she says two of my frinds girlfriends annoy her so we can nerver visit them. Also she says that she doesn't get on with some of my other friends.
So in the end, I can think of noone I know who she gets on with. She gets in a bad mood if my parents come to visit and we can go and see any of my friends together.
I have no problem socialising with her friends or parents. What can I do to resolve this issue? I think if I try to bring this subject up with her she will not be willing to discuss it and will most likely become very withdrawn and wont speak to me for a bit - what can I do?
well in all honesty it sounds like you might want to look into someone that isn't so judgemental on everyone that she meets. they are your friends and family and they are important to you, so even if she doesn't like them she needs to stop acting like a baby and at least suck it up when they come and visit you.
I am looking for some advice on an issue I have with my girlfriend. Basically she doesn't lilke my friends and family.
She says my parents and my best friend hate her because they dont talk to her but this is completely unfounded.
Also she says two of my frinds girlfriends annoy her so we can nerver visit them. Also she says that she doesn't get on with some of my other friends.
So in the end, I can think of noone I know who she gets on with. She gets in a bad mood if my parents come to visit and we can go and see any of my friends together.
I have no problem socialising with her friends or parents. What can I do to resolve this issue? I think if I try to bring this subject up with her she will not be willing to discuss it and will most likely become very withdrawn and wont speak to me for a bit - what can I do?
Let me guess, her first name start with a T and ends with an A.
Your just described my ex, and she ****ed me over royally and had the same attitude.
I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice my family and friends for a guy, or in your case, a girl.
She is being extremely judgmental and unfair seeing as you haven't got any problems with her family or friends... I wouldn't put up with that, but that's just me.
Be calm about it and talk to her. Tell her that if she can't put up with anyone else in your life except you yourslef, then what's the point? Really, your family and your close friends are a MASSIVE chunk in your life, and to give them up JUST for a girl is being pretty stupid....
If you care about the girl enough to stick by her, then definitely set a few things down on the table.
If she can't make the time for the important things in your life, why should you make the time for her?
It's times like these that really show you who come and go in your life. And that your family is always there.
Thanks for the advice, although some of it sems to be abit extream. Maybe I made my girlfriend sound worse than she really is. We've been together for a long time so I dont want to get rid of her, she has many other redeeming qualities.
She isn't really the controlling type, she's quite happy for my to go and visit my friends on my own. I think the issue is more that she finds it difficult to meet new people.
I think she might have an issue with anxiety and social interactions. She feels uncomfortable around people, and especially the people that are your loved ones. She feels akward, unsure, embarrassed and doesnt want to disappoint you or them so she would rather just avoid the whole scene alltogether. This isnt something that she will just grow out of, but over time if introduced in small segments, her anxiety should lessen some, but not entirely.
I do not believe she is selfish nor controlling nor dealing with jealousy issues. Try introducing her to new people in small increments and for short amounts of time.
Side note: You cant really blame people for the extreme advice. You painted a different picture of her on your first post and had you not added in the last post, no one would have known that she has anxiety problems.
**Speaking from someone who used to pick fights with her boyfriend right before going out to meet his family or friends in a large setting but had no problem whatsoever with him going off on his own to spend time with them.
__________________ To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already 3 parts dead. ~Bertrand Russell
She says my parents and my best friend hate her because they dont talk to her but this is completely unfounded.
Also she says two of my frinds girlfriends annoy her so we can nerver visit them. Also she says that she doesn't get on with some of my other friends.
Your girlfriend sounds shy... and it's not like she does not get along well with *all* of your friends, just with some of them.
Which makes me wonder, when you are with her and your parents, do you try your best to make her feel at ease?
Will your parents acknowledge her and be friendly to her, or will they just act like she is not there and talk mostly to you?
When you are with those of your friends she does not like, do they try to be nice to her?
Do you and your friends make sure she is included in the conversation, or in whatever you are doing, or will your friends and you end up leaving her out?
Will your gf in turn try to be nice and friendly to your parents and friends, expecially when she first meets them, or does she expect your friends and parents to always make the first step towards her?
Some people do their best to be nice to others, but will quickly shut themselves and curl up if others are unresponsive or do not display an equal amount of warmth and friendliness.
Could this be your gf's case?
Or does she usually act coldly and keep her guard up when she first meets your friends?
Last edited by Cheshire Cat; 14th October 2006 at 6:30 AM..
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Exactly
Linear Mode
