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Old 10th October 2006, 9:09 AM   #1
Jessia21
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IS this normal?

I don't have any children. My only experiences with kids are with my coworkers children and I am not around them that often. my boyfriend just got custody of his son so we've been spending a lot of time iwht him. He says he likes me (sees me as a play mate or someone to have fun with). Well being that I dont' have much experience with children I'm not sure what to expect from them. He is 7 years old and last night we took him to the park as we always do. He was riding his bike and playing around and we were walking with him.

I was walking my dog and talking to my boyfriend and his son. I happened to laugh at something my dog did at the exact same time that my boyfriend's son accidently hit himself in the head with a stick. He started crying and yelling at me and his dad saying that I was laughing at him because he got hurt (which I would never do) I comforted him and he was fine two minutes later. Well we were walking again and he was riding his bike in front of us and my boyfriend and I were talking and my boyfriend's son rode his bike right into a huge tree!! He fell off hte bike and scraped his arm. He was crying adn screaming but mostly angry because as he told us we were supposed to warn him that the tree was there (even though it was right in front of him!!) He wasn't so much hurt as he was MAD and he screamed at both of us and was very mad at his dad for not watching out for the tree.

My boyfreind asked him why he didn't see the tree himself and he said beauce he was looking up in the air. His son was so MAD and when we walked over to the truck to go home he took a stick and started pounding at his dad's truck with it and screaming at my boyfreind. I was taken aback by this. I mean I know the poor kid was shaken up, and probably embarrased. But he was genuinely angry at us for not telling him the tree was there and allowing him to run into it wiht his bike (even though there was NO way he didn't see it unless he had his eyes closed. Is it normal for a 7 year old to have such a violent reaction to something that is clearly his own fault and blame the parent??
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Old 11th October 2006, 6:30 AM   #2
anna13
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my anser is based on my experience with my own two kids ( 4 and 16 ) ...


sounds like he is angry about much more than that , kids tend to use a situation ( any) to vent the anger and frustration about another issue that is heavier in their minds. It isnt after all normal to react like that for that incident. unless he usually throws a tantrum ( you have to ask his dad) but I think it is what i said before something else is bothering the young boy, his dad just has to find out what that something else is.
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Old 13th October 2006, 5:39 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessia21 View Post
I don't have any children. My only experiences with kids are with my coworkers children and I am not around them that often. my boyfriend just got custody of his son so we've been spending a lot of time iwht him. He says he likes me (sees me as a play mate or someone to have fun with). Well being that I dont' have much experience with children I'm not sure what to expect from them. He is 7 years old and last night we took him to the park as we always do. He was riding his bike and playing around and we were walking with him.

I was walking my dog and talking to my boyfriend and his son. I happened to laugh at something my dog did at the exact same time that my boyfriend's son accidently hit himself in the head with a stick. He started crying and yelling at me and his dad saying that I was laughing at him because he got hurt (which I would never do) I comforted him and he was fine two minutes later. Well we were walking again and he was riding his bike in front of us and my boyfriend and I were talking and my boyfriend's son rode his bike right into a huge tree!! He fell off hte bike and scraped his arm. He was crying adn screaming but mostly angry because as he told us we were supposed to warn him that the tree was there (even though it was right in front of him!!) He wasn't so much hurt as he was MAD and he screamed at both of us and was very mad at his dad for not watching out for the tree.

My boyfreind asked him why he didn't see the tree himself and he said beauce he was looking up in the air. His son was so MAD and when we walked over to the truck to go home he took a stick and started pounding at his dad's truck with it and screaming at my boyfreind. I was taken aback by this. I mean I know the poor kid was shaken up, and probably embarrased. But he was genuinely angry at us for not telling him the tree was there and allowing him to run into it wiht his bike (even though there was NO way he didn't see it unless he had his eyes closed. Is it normal for a 7 year old to have such a violent reaction to something that is clearly his own fault and blame the parent??
He was upset from the previous incident with the stick, and likely very tired from the outing. He was probably very embarrassed from falling like that in front of you and hurt because he thought you were laughing at him. Boys of seven usually have a shy immature interest in girls and women and want to impress them. A child of that age would have a hard time handling and expressing the kind of mortification he was feeling, so he threw a temper tantrum. He probably wanted to impress a pretty girl (you) and wound up looking like a fool and thinking you were laughing at him for it. What little boy with sensitive feelings wouldn't be terribly upset? As you get closer to him, he will get more comfortable with you and not be so easily upset or embarrassed. This is part of the "Dad has a pretty new girlfriend and I want her to like me." stage.
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Old 14th October 2006, 12:57 AM   #4
YellowLioness
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I agree with the above poster. It could be that he was embarrassed that he was clumsey around you. Or, it could be that there are deeper issues brewing.

Kids that age in the middle of a tempestous living situation often are angry, and may express it at innapropriate times because they have no other way of letting it out. They may not even realize why they are angry.

It will take lots of patience and love and communication in this situation. Good luck!
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