ok, I will try to be short. I separated from my baby's father after almost 3 years together (our daughter is one) around the beginning of August. I didn't actually move out until 3 weeks ago. We had alot of drama in that time, but today I think we hit a new low and I am really looking for what you would do in this situation. My baby's father is really into porn. At first I thought it was something I could handle, because I don't really mind porn that much if used in a healthy way, but with him it was hours at a time, staying up all night, at points (when I was 9 months pregnant) looking at pretty violent stuff.

So this has been ongoing and he finally went to a counselor in July when I took the kids (he also has a son who is 6 who lived with us) to visit my family for 3 weeks. However, he also blew a bunch of money at strip clubs and went to watch a couple have sex that he met off craigslist, also admitted he was kinda looking for sex, but it didn't happen. Background: he was sexually molested as a child by his older sister when she was maybe 13 or 14 I think and he was 6. He has never sought any help for this. His brother was also molested and served time in prison a few years ago for sexual abuse of a minor.

Finally, today I had the kids all day and went to his house after a long day out. He was supposed to take them for a couple hours at that point so I could study, but I was too tired so I asked if I could just hang out a little bit and then head home (it had been a long drive and the baby was cranky so I was giving her a little time out of the car). I'm on the computer and some stuff pops up, the auto-finish in the address bar. So I do a little snooping and he's done several searches for teen porn. This is new. As far as I know he hadn't looked for teen porn before. For me, this crosses a line and I don't think I want him having unsupervised visits with our daughter. I'm scared.

So I brought it up to him (he's supposed to have a password on the computer so the 6 year old can't get to it), and the teen porn is illegal you know, and he says, well most of it is just women who look like teens. (OK, I know I shouldn't have brought it up). He then proceeds to absolutely lose it on me, telling me to get the **** out of the house throwing things at me, screaming at me in front of the kids. For now, no more visits I think, and see a lawyer? I'm seriously broke...we weren't married and he's pretty much left me with nothing, 600/month child support, I'm a full time student. Am I over-reacting with his history? I don't think anything would happen now when she's a baby but when she gets older? ok, that wasn't short at all, I'll stop now.

[anna13]

I don't think , I know you are not over reacting . I think anyone would be concerned about the way he is behaving . This has nothing to do with you at all . this is something he definitly needs help for but i think that he needs to get thelp for himself and you can help your kids in the meantime. I would definitly be uncomfortable with leaving any child with him since you dont know what they would be exposed to if your not around . like it was a surprise for you to see that he was looking at teen porn one day he may have girls at his home ect.that you are not aware of ( I dont know him but I would be very carefull ) , It is good that you are protecting your child . you should definitly focus on yourself and your daughter , have you tried legal aid? Ive heard they help with legal things for people who are in a tight budget. also if you have friends or family maybe you could stay with them and make some arangements for child care. cut your classes to part time for now and work as well. i know it seems all at once but it will help you keep focus and have perspective. I know it must be an extremely difficult situation. hold your head up and keep strong for your daughter.