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Questioning his boundaries

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Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Old 7th October 2006, 5:32 PM   #1
lizzielou
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Unhappy Questioning his boundaries

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. I have concerns about his job (demands a lot of his time, etc), but especially about his female coworkers. He admitted to emotional cheating with one (whom he still hangs out with), and now I am also concerned about his relationship with a new girl. On top of that, he's away on business for five months. The new girl is going to join him out there in about a month so he can train her -- they will only know each other in that town. Both girls currently live halfway between us, so he's more willing to drive there and hang out with them than to see me (and his family). It's not unusual for him to go out drinking with these girls (with or without other people), and today he was at the new girl's apartment, alone with her. Am I wrong to feel insecure about all of this? Given the situation, I think he should respect my feelings and rethink where his boundaries need to be.

Btw, this is my first post -- thanks for reading and responding!
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Old 7th October 2006, 6:47 PM   #2
JadeStar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lizzielou View Post
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. I have concerns about his job (demands a lot of his time, etc), but especially about his female coworkers. He admitted to emotional cheating with one (whom he still hangs out with), and now I am also concerned about his relationship with a new girl. On top of that, he's away on business for five months. The new girl is going to join him out there in about a month so he can train her -- they will only know each other in that town. Both girls currently live halfway between us, so he's more willing to drive there and hang out with them than to see me (and his family). It's not unusual for him to go out drinking with these girls (with or without other people), and today he was at the new girl's apartment, alone with her. Am I wrong to feel insecure about all of this? Given the situation, I think he should respect my feelings and rethink where his boundaries need to be.

Btw, this is my first post -- thanks for reading and responding!

Red Flags are everywhere! Hes going away on a business trip with her for 5 MONTHS. He admitted to cheating emotionally with someone else before. He was at her apartment alone. He goes out drinking with other girls etc. What does your gut instinct tell you, you need to do?
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Old 7th October 2006, 6:48 PM   #3
Gia77
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No you are not wrong. He admitted to emotional cheating? What exactly is emotional cheating? I don't think you are at all being insecure about your boyfriend hanging out with single girls more than he does with you. If I found out my bf was at a girl's apartment alone with her I'd freak out, and he would do the same if I started hanging out with single guys by myself. In my opinion, your situation is a little odd and the fact that he is away on business for so long doesn't make your situation easier. Work is work, there is no need to hang out with coworkers at their apartments, or go out with them for drinks. He should listen to you and respect your feelings. If he doesn't tell him you're gonna start hanging out with single guys while he's away on business!
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Old 8th October 2006, 9:00 PM   #4
megnog
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okay i'd be upset if he admitted to that. but then to continue to hang out with her. get drunk with her by themselves? i mean
i must be SO INSECURE because how the hell are you handling this??? i don't know. i don't want to say BREAK UP so soon but it really sounds like an unfair relationship for you
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