[anewman]

Hello, I recently ended an affair of 6 months. I fell in love with a woman who seemingly met all my desires. I knew I was wrong but told myself it was only for sex and I had no feelings for her. I thought my wife would never find out and I would break it off before it got too serious. Well now I found out she is pregnant with twins and they are most likely mine. I have no idea how to handle the situation. I feel horrible that these kids will not have the same life that my kids will have to no fault of their own. I do not know what kind of support is appropriate. My wife read my emails and found out about everything. The other woman is not a citizen in the US and has no way of coming here. With my marriage sometimes I think I should end it but can not stand to leave my son - who is the best kid ever, and my wife of whom I feel no sexual desires for but her heart is good and she is very supportive of me professionaly and loyal. She has not done anything to enhance herself. I supported her to go to college but she stopped and she has worked very little. She is continuosly gaining weight. I always try to be supportive and would never put her down about it. I have never cheated on anyone prior to this affair. I never planned on this either. I just happened to meet someone and instead of stopping before things escalated I continued. I really would like some moral help. How can i make these wrongs right. Is that possible?

[whichwayisup]

Come completely clean with your wife, tell her everything that she needs to know.

To be honest, it doesn't sound like you "like" your wife very much. Sure, you may "love" her, but not in the way a husband is supposed to love his wife. You say you're not attracted to her anymore....Which probably led to your affair.

As for the OW, get a paternity test done ASAP, make sure your wife is involved in this too.

GO to marriage counselling and do all that is necessary to gain your wife's trust again. I'm sure right now she's very confused on what happens next.

[Jane Doe]

I agree, get a paternity test first and foremost. Insist upon it before forking over one dime. Once it's proven that they're yours, you have a moral and legal obligation to support them. Don't make them pay for your mistakes. As for your marriage, do you still want it?