[Shana555]

It’s only been a week since the break. I’ve been posting here a lot, but here’s the quick background. In a relationship 5 years and caught him cheating last Monday.

He didn’t contact me at all for a few days, but now won’t quit. He keeps leaving voicemails literally begging me to talk to him. That he has things he really wants to tell me. Then just goes on and on saying please please please call me. Six calls over the weekend and already one this morning. This morning he actually said, he knows it must be really hard for me right now, but to please find it in my heart to call him... Please please blah blah...
Find it in my heart?! hah

Everyone keeps saying I should not contact him no matter what so I’m trying my hardest to follow that advice.
Why is he doing this?! I can’t help but wonder what he wants to say so badly.
If I was in his position I would leave what I have to say in the voicemail if the person wouldn’t accept my calls.
I don’t get it and wish I could just stop thinking about all this.
I blocked his number, but the voicemails and texts still come through so that doesn’t help. I was told changing my number would help, but that would really be too complicated right now.

I was so ready to never speak to or see him again, but his messages have me soooo wondering what he has to say. I know I shouldn’t care, but it’s so hard.

[Jane Doe]

Changing your phone number isn't that complicated. Before you cave in and talk to him (which I sense you're on the verge of doing), change your number as well as your email address. If you take him back you're giving him permission to cheat again. Just my opinion........

[Shana555]

Thanks for the reply.

Why I thought changing my number right now would be complicated is because I am finishing up college this year and have been contacting many people about jobs. They are giving my name to other to contact me. That would just be a mess. Plus my friends, family, and other important people I couldn’t forget to inform like my horses vet, etc. It just seems like too much work to go through because of this guy.

I will not ever take him back. He has put me through the worst times in the past and now, cheating is just unforgivable. Camels back is broken. I could not and will never trust him again.

I guess it’s just the wondering of why he's keeps calling and what he has to say so badly that’s driving me nuts.

[johnnytable]

You say that you are doing NC, yet you are listening to his voicemails? That is contact.

This person abused you by cheating on you. It will be hard as heck, but you need to get away. Don't listen to the voicemails. Delete them. Don't answer the phone. Don't read emails.

I can say from experience that this is a VERY hard thing to do. I understand if you cannot do this now, but eventually you will get to this point. Its just a matter of when.