[Patty]

I often have trouble making friendships with my co workers.I wish I never had this problem.For some reason I get really shy when a person comes up to talk to me.I dont always no what to say.I sometimes feel this way at family gatherings.or when ever my family start to talk to me, I freeze and dont always no what to say.It makes me feel bad cause,I dont know how to carry on a conversation.Whenever I'm in the chat room it seems much easier for me to talk.I wish I could overcome this problem.It would help me out so much.I sometimes think it could be my disability that stops me from having friendships.I have a hard time socializing when it comes face to face.It seems weird cause when Im chatting on the net it seems easy.But off screen I freeze.

Patty

Just smile and say "Hi".Ask them about themselves,and sit there grinning like an idiot for five hours while they talk about everyone's personal favorite topic- "My Life:The Cultural Center of the Universe." Nod a lot, as if you either agree with their viewpoints or that you understand what they are babbling about.Don't check the time on your watch or let your eyes glaze over.Shake your body once in a while to stave off rigor mortis.It's really simple,you don't have to wonder what to say and everyone will later comment on what a great conversationalist you are!

Don't laugh.I used this all the time,especially in work related social functions and it is very effective. Heck,I even use this on first dates,and chicks love it! I'm now quite popular at work, and everyone's eager to talk to me when I walk by.

After a while of this,you'll meet some nice people who actually get tired of talking about themselves(very rare) and actually want input from you.These are what I call "friendship material",and these types you can slowly open up to and do stuff with.

That fear of awkwardness can be almost paralyzing, can't it?

Here are a few things that may help:

1. Admit to being ordinary and give up the pretense of charming and impressing everyone with dazzling conversation. It's okay to just talk about everyday things... comfortable and interesting is the goal.

2. Recognize that people like to talk about themselves. When they exhaust that subject they like to see how you fit together. You'll find most responses enthusiastic if you learn to ask good questions, remember their answers, and respond to their answers with another question. It often takes a little time before they respond and start asking questions back of you.

3. Observe. Look at the person you want to talk to... see any converstion openers that might already be available - - interesting shirt, earrings, project on their desk, screen saver that catches your attention, the lunch or breakfast you catch them heating in the kitchen... Keep your eyes open and you'll find dozens of conversations just waiting to happen.

4. Lose yourself. Concentrate on the other person and you'll find yourself genuinely interested in them... your awkward self-consciousness will soon fade and you'll become a natural at the art of conversation.

5. Smile. It will convey your pleasure in the person and make them desire the pleasant experience of talking with you.

I've got to go now, Ricky Martin's "She-Bang" is playing and I can't keep still any longer.... have a great weekend!

[Patty]

T/y for the advise.I needed it. By the way you like Rocky Martin? I like Enrique Iglesias! lol