I like a guy I work with (we don't see each other at work much though), we never did anything but hug once. We have had once deep conversation and he's a good listener.
My H and I have been on the outs, but we have decided to see a MC and make once last try b/f seperation. BUT, I can't get this guy out of my thoughts. I go to sleep thinking of him, I wake up thinking of him and when my H and I are intimate I think of him (yikes). I don't want a relationship from this other guy, but I have daydreamed of a few stolen moments we could have together, no strings attached. I am really trying not to think of him and focus on H, but it's not working. I feel like I am going crazy. I am trying to put as much physical distance b/w me and this OM, but I can't keep him out of my head.
As long as this OM is in your life and in your thoughts, your marriage doesn't have a chance in heck to be fixed. You're focussing on someone else when you should be putting all that energy into your husband.
I'm sure it's even harder on you seeing as you work with the guy. Is it possible to find another job, or transfer to another department?
I'm sure it's even harder on you seeing as you work with the guy. Is it possible to find another job, or transfer to another department?
Does your hubby know about the OM?
I can't find another job, it is highly specialized. I have to see him (OM)at least once a week. Neither of us can go anywhere. We started working together about 6 months ago, 4 or so of which I have had the hots for him and have been trying to get him out of my head but no such luck
What does this mean? What do I do? Everytime I see him I want to reach and and touch him. AAAHHH!
I can't find another job, it is highly specialized. I have to see him (OM)at least once a week. Neither of us can go anywhere. We started working together about 6 months ago, 4 or so of which I have had the hots for him and have been trying to get him out of my head but no such luck
What does this mean? What do I do? Everytime I see him I want to reach and and touch him. AAAHHH!
AND No my H doesn't know I like this guy.
Then I suggest that you tell your husband about him, and your problem. Yes, hubby will be upset, or maybe even mad, but you havn't slept with him, that's VERY good. Perhaps OM is filling a certain need your hubby isn't, or is it because OM is HOT!!!!!! It could also that be that you find this thrilling and new, you can't fix your marriage until you tell your husband EVERYTHING!!!! YOU have to find out what need/s you hubby is NOT meeting, and discuss this in MC.
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End of Line - Tron
Last edited by Sup; 30th September 2006 at 6:01 PM..
You need to figure out your priorities and plan accordingly. You should not waste your H's time on MC while you have your heart out the door anyway. If you want this guy so bad, then get yourself a divorce and go for it. I realize that people are attracted to people other than their spouses, but to be obsessed like this and not tell your H is being very unfair to him. I agree with Sup that if you have any real interest in repairing your marriage you must admit these feelings to your husband and work from there. If you don't then don't string your H along.
I know how exciting it can be to think of someone new, etc. BTDT. If you read much on these boards, you are surely aware that your thinking is dangerous and is way more likely to cause much more pain than pleasure in the end...good luck to you.
Ah, the early stages of infatuation. Isn't that last of your worries, Guest.
Plainly put: You will not be able to push him out of your mind, until you focus on your real life.
I cannot imagine, a woman, with divorce on the horizon; work; husband in need; and other personal issues would find soulful time to entangle herself with a man -so intuitively comprised within the mind [your mind, that is].
You have associated yourself with a potential man. A man, that right now, is innocently willing to partake in your journey. You have improved his every trait, physical and emotional characteristic to satisfy your mind.
In other words, you have made him seem like a man in shining armor waiting to rescue you.
Do not be deceived. Focus on your priorities, right now.
I can't find another job, it is highly specialized. I have to see him (OM)at least once a week. Neither of us can go anywhere. We started working together about 6 months ago, 4 or so of which I have had the hots for him and have been trying to get him out of my head but no such luck
What does this mean? What do I do? Everytime I see him I want to reach and and touch him. AAAHHH!
AND No my H doesn't know I like this guy.
Look, you're letting a crush get out of hand and it's turning into an obsession. You let yourself fantasize about the OM and it's messing with your head, your emotions and your judgement. YOU DO have the strength to stop this! If you truly want to, you can do this. If you want your marriage to stay happy and healthy, you're going to have to change your thinking habits and stop yourself from fantasizing about the OM.
Maybe you should tell your husband, have you thought about that? It could actually stop your thoughts right away because his reaction will be full of hurt and disappointment, maybe then you'll see the damage you're doing by letting this go on with the MOM. If you don't stop, it's only a matter of time before you're in an affair.
Talk to your husband. If you care about your marriage that is.
And do you think your husband doesn't think about other women? Well maybe he doesn't but if he isn't interested in women why would he be with you? Having feelings about other people is rather normal. Acting on them isn't.
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