I have been on here for alittle while. We got found out about two months ago. At first we both basically were working on the fact that breaking it off was what needs to be done. But we never broke contact. Talk alot about him trying to make things workout for the best interest of kids....blah, blah...
In the beginning was hard to get in contact with one another and every talk we had would somehow end up or start out as argument. The closeness we had was changing. Because of the lack of contact.
Then the past month things are changing we talk more, actually listening to eachother. Things really started changing after a convo we had last week. I yelled and cried in short told him I cant go through the roller coaster. Fix your marriage or figure out what you are going to do about us.
No he hasnt left , but things have been different with us. Yesterday we talked like we havent talked in awhile. Joked with one another like we us to. made comments that we havent in awhile.
Its like we have started over. Only difference is he knows what i want him to do.
I have been feeling so much better ( with my health).
I'm glad your health is better, but keep your eyes open to your situation. One or two conversations may make you feel good, possibly even give you hope, but bottom line - He hasn't left his wife. He KNOWS what you want him to do, and he hasn't done that yet. How long are you willing to wait?
I'm glad your health is better, but keep your eyes open to your situation. One or two conversations may make you feel good, possibly even give you hope, but bottom line - He hasn't left his wife. He KNOWS what you want him to do, and he hasn't done that yet. How long are you willing to wait?
I dont know how long im willing to wait. Im not going to wait years or even a year. I do know for myself i want to go slow. As much as I want him at the front door right now with bags in hand. I dont want , Him here and then regretting it or me regretting him being here. Does that makes any sense?
where does your husband fit into all of this? If you're willing to take the plunge with your lover, shouldn't you also be willing to leave the man you married so that both of you can have something better than what you've got now?
__________________ Ham and eggs ... a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
where does your husband fit into all of this? If you're willing to take the plunge with your lover, shouldn't you also be willing to leave the man you married so that both of you can have something better than what you've got now?
thanks for clarifying ... now your comment about wanting him but not wanting him makes sense.
Its like we have started over. Only difference is he knows what i want him to do.
sounds like a real pickle, to be honest. If he's not ready to leave the safety of his marriage, but doesn't want to give you up either, then nothing's really changed. If he leaves, there's no real way of knowing that he doesn't resent leaving his marriage even if he seems to be happy with you.
going out on a limb here, but is there any way to go no contact with the guy until he figures out what he's going to do? That might make your next move/decision in your relationship a little less cloudy. And that way you're not stuck in a situation where nothing's really changed, other than his family knowing about your relationship with him.
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