[realworldexplorer]

You may love your spouse when you have an affair but your not "in love" with them as so many cheaters will attest. You reserve this in-loveness for your lover who only has to show up once in a while with his/her good side and good intentions well polished. Love is very easy in this stage of a new relationship, romance is intoxicating and highly addictive. Romantics will seek this out at any cost (and the cost is usually very high!). But to compare a LTR or marriage to an illicit PA is very foolish indeed and extremely unfair. Every case has its own peculiar circumstances so it is hard to generalize. The ironic thing is that this new romantic love may turn into the grind and struggle of a LTR later on only there won't be anything left to get them through the sometimes harsh realities of normal day to day existence because everthing (trust, integrity, selflessness) and everybody (family, friends,colleagues) have been sacrificed to this all consuming and important new love. You may think that you love your spouse still while you are in the self deception of an affair but you are anything but loving.