[lilbelle]

hey sm...

welcome to ls. sorry you are going through this.

First things first, rape is serious and will really affect you. Are you getting therapy for this? So he is refusing to work it out, has he explained why he doesn't see any point in it? Seems like he runs from people when the going gets tough huh? I don't know what state your in but some judges will require marriage counseling before a divorce is granted. ours did and things got so much worse so be prepared that the outcome can be uglier than the beginning. lawyer up now and fight dirty girl. be prepared.

You want him back, and I can understand that. First create some distance. he probably needs time to think and absorb all of the emotions. second, show him that you are seeking help for the rape and dealing with it so you can then work on your marriage. if he sees you making efforts he will most likely realize that he could work on things to. 2 years huh? not long to be calling for a divorce, i mean you guys should still be in honeymoon phase. I wish you the best and know that divorce is not the end, it can often be a new beginning.

[seraphim mom]

Thanks and yeah the rape happened in late july, and tried to hide it since to me it was very embarrasing, and just disgusting. When he confronted me about it since my whole demeanor had changed he never let me talk he just made things up in his head called me a cheater and left. That night I left and stayed the night at a friends with my kids to let him cool down, and when I came back the next day he had alreayd moved all his things from the house to the barracks. Pretty much he blames me for putting myself in that position since it happened at a co workers going away party and I was druggedand raped by someone who I considered a friend and trusted, he filed in august and we have been separeted since then, I am going to counseling and it took me 2 weeks to go to the polive which then I was treated like crap. And then after that he came over to the house drunk and wanting sex and since I still love him I gave him thatand then the next morning he tells me he regreted that, which hurt me even more, we are in arizona and they don't require going to counseling before divorce, and it just strikes me as being lazy since him leaving w/o even trying and abandoning his family and 3 people who love him you know, and we tried the nc thing and that never worked since he would call and start a figt text me come over and start a fight. I mean we never really had a honeymoon period since when we got together we were both active duty and like a month afterr we got married he pcs'd so we were a state apart and he always believes what others tell him and people were telling him I was cheating and we separeated for like 3 months after I ets'd then in may we got back together I gave him a total clean slate moved out her and had my second child, technically we have only been together together for about a year, and now its like anytime I want to talk to him he dosent answer or respond but if he wants to communicate and I don't answer he is allowed to get pissed off. And counseling can help our problems. I just don't know what to do.