[Steadfast]

Originally Posted by sumdude

The reality of it all has sunk in, you're past denial...into bargaining, anger and depression ..

You're an emotional ping pong ball and someone else controls the damn flippers

Put on your seat belt, this is the roughest part of the ride. It gets better, then it comes and goes in waves. Each wave gets a little smaller. One day you'll be feeling good and you'll step on some emotional land mine.

This is all natural and part of being human. Sorry you have to go through it. I remember it all too well. Hang in there, exercise is the best therapy as well as talking to people you can trust.

This is excellent advice, and right on the money. In your opening paragraph you said NC was having the opposite effect on you (as it does for others) by making you feel sad and desperate. What you may not realize is that is normal. It's like Gunny said; You just got hit by a truck! Who says you're supposed to feel good about it? Don't feel bad about feeling bad. That's a vicious circle. Let your mind and heart sort themselves out. In time, they will. That's the key: time. Let it work.

I can tell by reading your posts that you're buying in. See, by giving her space you're allowing her to 'flail' around in life without your input. Sooner or later she'll realize that you're not the problem and it is at that time she will decide if she wants to be with you or not. But (and it's a big BUT!) never allow her to make what you want or need unimportant. You have a say too, and by the time she returns (that's if she does...pride, guilt and other emotions can play a huge factor) you may feel that being with her, being married to her or even being friends isn't in your best interests. THAT'S what NC does for you. You're removing yourself from the problem.

You're getting good advice here. Keep listening to it. You are not alone.