[dgiirl]

Originally Posted by feelingempty

Morning,

I'm up I didn't sleep that bad sad thing is i'm alone kids at work and of course he is on my mind feeling very down hearted. I didn't break the NC one small step but I feel weaker today I guess its b/c he would be home today.

I keep thinking in my mind the letter he wrote his ex and my heart breaks more I guess I meant nothing to him the last 5 years

New routine's are hard to adjust to. And it's common to become sad and depressed during those times where you use to spend time together. You need to start a new routine where you can do things for yourself! Some fun things, fun busy things you never could before, just for yourself! The worse thing you can do is sit at home doing nothing but "stinkin thinkin" (as pwsx3 calls it).

Get out and enjoy the day! Go shopping, even if it's just to look, not buy! I use to go shopping with the intention of not buying, but playing dress up, just to try new clothes, styles I would never have tried before, just to see what they look on me. It was a fun way to spend an afternoon. I found some clothes that looked ridiculous on me, and I found some others that looked great on me and I adopted them to my "new style".

Go to your local library and pick up some books to read. Financial books, relationship books, self help books, how-to books or just novels! My local library also has dvd's, so I can see some movies I might not otherwise watch.

Go for a walk in your local park, go visit some touristy places in your city! If you have a camera, take it along with you and take some photographs! I find with my camera in hand, I have a "purpose" being there and don't feel so lonely. Or start a new hobby, one you've always wanted to try.

Just get out! No matter how tired you are, Keep Busy! And the more fun you have, the more adventures you have, the more you challenge yourself out of your comfort zone, the quicker your self confidence will boost back up, and the less you'll think of him or want him.

[feelingempty]

thank you for your reply,

Sound advice I know but when the heart and head are playing games hard to put into action. I'm minutes away to calling him even though he screens his calls he won't answer I wish I wasn't such a sap and could stay angry but after all we been through this comes as a shock what he did I want to call i haven't since we lasted talked Thursday morning in most cases I always do call.

The way he thinks that I'm not pinning for him and that I don't care but I do and I sit on the fence wondering does he even care? We have alot together and usually by now he would be sending emails telling me to get out of the house I don't know I'm stressing again

[feelingempty]

I think i'm going to call him to see how much he hates me for what he has done or just to calm my mind I don't know I'm struggling here

[feelingempty]

I just called his cell and of course he didn't answer I didn't leave a message either but he has caller display he knows it was me so the ball is in his court he can see I care and by what happens next I'll know there is no chance in hell we ar getting back together. I probably made things worse for my emotional well being but I had to try once. I'm tired all ready need a nap sign i'm so sad

[PWSX3]

Instead of calling & getting depressed because he won't answer, I would like to suggest writing it down on paper, then when you are done just throw it away.

It really does help to put your feelings down on paper. It is different then typing it as well, so just write but always throw them away, that is also part of the healing I feel.
This helps you figure out what you want, might help you figure out why you feel you need him.

The most important thing is to do things for yourself......

Dgiirl has some good advice, get out & try new things. It's VERY hard at first but it does get easier when you find something you like to do.

[FeelingLonely98]

Originally Posted by PWSX3

Dgiirl has some good advice, get out & try new things. It's VERY hard at first but it does get easier when you find something you like to do.

Yes feelingempty - dgiirl's advice is great. You may have to "Force" yourself but little by little it will be easier.

Do NOT call him unless you have some business to discuss. Or better yet, don't call him at all! It will be difficult, but it is in YOUR best interest, ok?

[feelingempty]

Ty,

Here is my plan for this week attend my lawyers appointment Wed. to see where I stand in the common law relationship. And wait for him to contact me about splitting stuff up? Does this sound good ?

I shouldn't worry who he is doing and I really do need to stop crying.

Pray for me b/c I really do miss our conversations I really can't believe I made the weekend since that is the time I would have one on one with him.....................:-( But i did :-)

[dgiirl]

Originally Posted by feelingempty

Sound advice I know but when the heart and head are playing games hard to put into action.

I know it's hard! But even if it's just a 5 minute walk in the park it will do you some good. It helps to clear the head.

I also like PWSX's suggestion. Get a diary and write! Write all your feelings down. Write all your fears down. Write all your wants in a relationship. Write down all the pros and cons of your current relationship. Imagine what you want your life to be in a year from now and write it down. Create a checklist of all the things you want to do in life. Write it all out.

[feelingempty]

thinking and thinking where it went wrong....................ty for your advice I went for a long walk funny that i'm a little skittish to leave the house. He still never called and I guess i won't hear from him until he wants me and my kids out. I guess he has someone new in the starting gate the reason me saying so he said he had done something bad wed night.

I want to desperatly text him and ask what did you do so bad wed night???? then and again he already sent a love letter to an ex g/f that night also. My sister says he is immature no matter when a couple fights looking for another woman should not be a priority on anyones list.

Then I remember all the crap that looked bad on his part the last 2 years and shake my head why am i so forgiving. Having him gone working out of town week after week for the last 4 years and at times not knowing what he was up to has been a killer on me I guess like his ex-wife called and said to me the day he was going to leave I hope your a strong woman!!!!!

I thought that was weird since she never talks to me but the fool i am and yes I am a fool a broken hearted can't stop crying wishes I had some contact with him fool

I'm deeply saddened