[Neutrino]

Originally Posted by Sparty97

In principal that's great, but when you have to start writing an alimony check because you didn't want a roommate that's a bit ridiculous. I have no issue whatsoever with child support but alimony is a dated concept. Heck to some degree I even agree with splitting marital assets 50/50 but why should one spouse have to pay going forward? Is she gonna come over and do my laundry and cook me dinner (not that she does now).

Right. I also agree with the post about sex and affection being 2 separate things, but in a good relationship are you not supposed to have both ?

These are some of the many reasons I refused marriage, but chose a partner's contract instead - we each wrote a draft with the things that were important to us and then after discussion added them together. It is flexible and a way to bring your individuality and life-philosophy into the relationship.

The act of marriage makes me think of those 1-size clothes - that hardly fit anyone...

[soserious1]

Originally Posted by MizzBlue72

You know, in some states, I think this may be considered grounds for divorce. My xH did not have sex with me for 4 yrs prior to divorce. It hurts.

People ( myself included) forget that a marriage contract is basically a legal device that covers physical property and hopefully ensures that any children of the union will be covered if one or both parents die. A legal marriage decides who gets what if you die, it obligates the spouses to assuming a responsibility to support one another and any children born into the union ie: a wife can't run down and apply for food stamps without having her husband's income factored into the calculations.

Being married does NOT entitle you to sex, intimacy, it doesn't even require that your spouse be nice to you. Marriage gives a person obligations and responsibilities, not rights.

Barring certain concrete, provable factors ie: chronic drug, alcohol problems, criminal convictions for serious crimes
if you're married and you just aren't getting along, if your issue is that there hasn't been any sex or affection in months or years, Your basic remedy in most states is a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.

You go into court thinking you can tell the judge that Billy bob or Silly Sue refused to have sex with you X number of times a month and that you feel that entitles you to more in the divorce settlement or that it entitles you to leave a non-bread winning spouse on the streets without a penny
and you're going to get laughed right out of the court room.

A basic function of Family law is to ensure that people aren't easily able to abandon their obligations and dump their fiscal responsibilities for dependents onto the taxpayers.

He or she has been a stay at home spouse for years and years? He or she lacks the skills to get out there and start earning right away? Your career soared and your earnings potential grew and grew ? Chances are good that any divorce settlement will include some portion of alimony, even if it is just rehabilitative alimony for a limited number of years.

[Remy]

Hi James - you asked some questions. Not sure of the etiquette in replying on someone else's thread. Delete if not appropriate.

These were your questions -

He gets no sex. He cheats. He gets plenty of sex. The question is...is it good sex? Is HE happy with it? Are YOU happy with it? You do not enjoy it, but are you happy with providing him with his sex? = My husband says it the best sex he has ever had. I think it is because I do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I am not happy but it is certainly not about my happiness. I do it to keep our family together.


Inside do you hold alot of anger? Do you still LOVE him? Do you have any respect for him? = Yes, I am angry but I am pretty good at hiding that as well. No, I don't love him and I certainly have no respect for him.


Does he love you? = No, not what I would call love. He is in control and feels powerful.

Do you plan on divorcing him eventually? = No, I think he will do it at some stage. I am ageing and I can't keep looking young for much longer. He will trade me in for a younger model that makes him look good and feel manly.

Do you think he sees you as worthy to be his wife, or are you just the mother of his children and his sex slave? = I am definitely the latter. He considers himself a very special person. No-one is really good enough for him. He settled for me because the few "perfect" women he met wouldn't have him.

There you have it James. For what it is worth.