[lissar]

I dealt with this too. Being an introvert, I always came across as standoffish when in reality I just could never think of anything to say. Or somehow I couldn't connect with people because I didn't want to share my life story with them immediately if not sooner.

I agree with Q, I just try to smile, and make small talk as best I can, and be a good listener, ask others about themselves. Everyone loves someone who listens. It's also insanely hard for me to make friends, and last year I started grad school so I was really worried about meeting people...I found that if I just tried to relax and do the best I could, I ended up being okay. It took a while but I have found some friends I care about. My circle probably isn't as wide as others, but it works for me.

[eeyore1981]

Doesn't this suck? I've struggled with extreme shyness all my life. On the other hand, if I am with a few friends and a couple of strangers, I can be very outgoing, to make them feel comfortable. Safety in numbers?

I was in my 30's when my brother started dating a girl I went to HS with. That's when I found out how many people thought I was a stuck-up b*tch. I was shocked.