[lilbelle]

love yourself and you can then love fully. seek some help and talk it out on here

[GrayClouds]

It sound like your unhappy with your life so rather then blaming your relationship see the problem for what it is; your unhappy with your life. This means you need to start rying to figure out how to make you life better yourself. If your depressed seek counsling, maybe medication, get off the drugs, start getting some exercise, try some new hobbies. Work at ways to make yourself more satisfied with your life.

To many people are unhappy with their life and think changing to a new girlfriend or boyfriend will get them there. They are look for a easy fix rather then doing the hard work on themselves. Sometimes it works but most of the time it is a sort distraction until the unhappiness returns and in the wake is a lot of hurt innocent people left behind.

If you do the hard work on yourself and then after you get there if your relationship is still not right for you then move on. You will know with confidence.

[hdog]

GreyClouds, what you said made a lot of sense to me. One of the biggest problems i had was afraid if was making the right choice, this way i will have no regrets. I know its the easy way out but i know that a lot of it has to do with her. I know relationships change but i feel ours has mutated. I was smoking behind her back for all those months and it just made everything go away. Im going to take the harder path. Gonna talk to someone, off the drugs, work out and try and find something to do in my free time. Does anyone have a good way to tell her ive got to make changes in my life and that might not include you? She knows im depressed but kind of cloudy on why should i let her know now that the end result there might not be an us or should i wait untill im more certain its her?

[GrayClouds]

Originally Posted by hdog

GreyClouds, what you said made a lot of sense to me. One of the biggest problems i had was afraid if was making the right choice, this way i will have no regrets. I know its the easy way out but i know that a lot of it has to do with her. I know relationships change but i feel ours has mutated. I was smoking behind her back for all those months and it just made everything go away. Im going to take the harder path. Gonna talk to someone, off the drugs, work out and try and find something to do in my free time. Does anyone have a good way to tell her ive got to make changes in my life and that might not include you? She knows im depressed but kind of cloudy on why should i let her know now that the end result there might not be an us or should i wait untill im more certain its her?

I am impressed most do not have the courage that you are showing. Good luck. No matter how it turns out with you two at least you know you are headed to a better place with in yourself.

Far as talking to her you all ready said it:
One of the biggest problems i had was afraid if was making the right choice, this way i will have no regrets. I know its the easy way out but i know that a lot of it has to do with her. I know relationships change but i feel ours has mutated. I was smoking behind her back for all those months and it just made everything go away. Im going to take the harder path. Gonna talk to someone, off the drugs, work out and try and find something to do in my free time. Does anyone have a good way to tell her ive got to make changes in my life

Be honest, tell her that you know that you need to make some positive changes for yourself and for your life. Actknowledge that while your doing this hard work at times it may be difficult for her and the relationship but in the end the only way you can be good in the relationship is to be happy with yourself. Tell her you want her support.

While it will be a bit scary for her she should encourage you and be happy about it. There is a chance that it may bring you two closer together.

Again I am impressed. good luck

[hdog]

I told her that i am a mess and am going though allot of things. I also told her that ive got to find myself and she understood and wants to support me no matter what. Thank you GrayClouds for your words. I feel like everything will be alright regardless of the outcome and im on the road to recovery.Will post in a month or so to update whats going on. Thanks again.