[hopesndreams]

Originally Posted by Crusoe

An empty wallet

That is soooooooooooo 1950's. What cave you living in?

[LakesideDream]

I have a cooking scar that is a dead ringer for a "ring tan line".. I've been told many times... "married eh?" by women. I laugh and say "no it's a burn"... I wonder how many believe me.

[D-Lish]

I once dated a guy for a few months- and I found out he was married because his wife called me.

He had a home base for work- where he had an apartment (near me). This apartment had no remnants or evidence of a wife.
His wife lived in another city 6 hours away. He travelled often for his job- from home base to other cities, and back home again where he had his wife and his house.

He had 2 cell phones- one phone his wife never new about.
His wife found that cell phone and that is when she found about about his affair(s).

When she called, she was quick to say that I was one of a few women on his phone that she had confirmed cheating with.... AND she hadn't finished investigating.

I did meet his friends from this area- I did stay at his apartment - we went out in public often. His friends/team mates were very much into keeping the secret.

What he had said was that he had a "crazy" ex-wife living in "xxy", and they had house/business/etc issues lingering- and sometimes he would step out onto the balcony or into the hall to take a call from her. Looking back- those phone calls maybe should have been something I should have questioned. I didn't though- to me, he was so forthcoming and obvious about it that I didn't question it.

This guy was a skilled manipulator. When he was in town, we were dating! This situation is probably a bit unusual, his circumstances made it ideal for him to cheat. I think he was a "girl in every port" kind of guy.

Anyway- his "crazy" ex wife wasn't crazy... She was actually alright. She was accustomed to his cheating- obviously, I wasn't the first, nor would I be the last. I know she finally left him a couple years ago. But she did stay with him for quite some time after she called me and I ceased contact with him.

This was before google- had I googled him when I met him, I probably could have gotten his marital status.

[2sunny]

so true, an easy and inexpensive search will reveal much about a person they aren't willing to tell... especially at the beginning.

age, marital history, where they've lived, relatives and even credit history... oh, and whether or not they have a criminal history... kind of a good way to gauge if they are willing to lie even about the little things.

this guy i dated not long ago was unwilling to give any personal firm info that would allow me to find anything on him... he lived out of a hotel for the past six months and said that prior to that he lived on the opposite coast. even his email was designed to only show his first name along with the fact that he likes cycling... i asked him if he was married - he said no - but my tried and true radar was screaming MARRIED.

[misternoname]

Most states have an open records data base for house appraisals. If you know which city he lives in simply log on and search his name. His home appraisal should reveal his deed. If he's married she should be on there too.