[Phedre]

Hi Everyone

I have happily moved from the 'coping' forum to the 'LDR' forum recently and have been lurking around, trying to soak up all of the great advice offered here. My LDR is very new, but I can't help thinking about what seems to be to be a fundemental 'issue' (to me at least) in LDRs and wanted to see what y'all thought....

My question is: In an LDR, do you feel like you can only get to know each other 'so well' until you need to be physically next to each other to get to know each other better?

I realize this isn't an issue for those who were in the R prior to the addition of the LD part, but what about those of you who met online or only knew each other in a limited capacity? For myself, I have known my guy for over 9 years and while we have connected in a dating manner a few times over the years, we never pursed anything serious because it was always LD and we both weren't ready to put the effort in needed for a LDR. But now we feel like we are... but at some point aren't I going to 'know him' as much as I can from the constant phone conversations/time we have known each other? I feel like at some point we are going to have to make the decision for us to be together in person prior to any engagement (not that we are talking about that, just being hypothetical). And since he can not move due to the military, I feel like basically I have to be willing to move states away to live (with him? on my own but near him?) in order for us to take our relationship to the 'next level.' And the next level isn't right now, but I feel that I should know the answer to this question prior to letting either of invest more of ourselves in to the R than we already h ave.

I really adore this guy and from what he says and does he feels the same way. However I don't want to move to live with someone that I don't know 'well enough' to live with, but also don't want to end an relationship that appears at this time to have real solid wonderful future potential simply because of something like distance. Having been through what I have, distance seems like a much smaller issue if the person is right for you. When did y'alll know it was 'right' to move/have your partner move to you? Did you wait until engagement or marriage? Did you just do it?

Does any of this make sense? lol

Thanks for reading