[AnnPod]

Oh I hear you! I am from Europe as well, and have a transatlantic LDR. Yes it's very hard for my people here to understand why we do this, especially because they see what it is like a lot of time: drama, drama, drama. I so often feel like I need to justify what I'm doing somehow. btw where are you from (just curious)?

Yes but as hard as it is, you have to focus on yourself. If you learn to come to terms on your side, this will for sure also relax your boyfriend. I only have the classic advices: excercise, work, find things you like and make you laugh, and try to share them with your boyfriend.

And: you are definitely not alone, and there are other people who have been successful with transatlantic LDR as well

[lillymountain]

update on our situation...

he said he wants me to come
he is afraid that we could drift apart
but he is still nervous about it - what if it doesnt work and then has to feel guilty.
we had three months of living together at the start of our relation and from then on it was a LDR and we see each other every 4-5 weeks for 3 or 4 days...
and if i dont move we have still at least one and a half year to go
it feels like we can not propperly build our realtion
every time we part it hurts so much and then we try to recover and concentrate on our own lifes which is good, but at the same time it is kind of dangerous, cause we dont share anymore.
i somtimes feel like not calling, cause it hurts and frustrates me and i feel, that it his super hard for me to concentrate on my stuff when im so open and then i back off a bit to protect myself.

this is not my first LDR, i had three years of a weekend-relation with my first boyfriend and it was no problem even if i missed him heaps - but we had a stable relation for over two years before we had a LDR.

but this feels different - i want to grow together and it feels like the distance is taking its toll and this is not out of lack of feelings but more for feeling to deeply and feeling almost unable to cope...............

i would not give up my home, i can always come back, it would be for approx. a year and im very certain i would find a job when i come back.
i would simply delay my studies for one year, but i have already a bachelors degree, it is a master course im doing and i would not loose the oppurtunity to go on.

i will think it over till christmas
if i move it would be in february

............
thats how i feel

[VeveCakes]

Where is your bf located? Won't you also need a visa to work where he is?

I don't see the point in delaying your studies. If you are meant to be together then you have your whole lives ahead of you. Get your degree over and done with and enjoy life after.

[lillymountain]

No, i wouldn't need a visa.
He is from overseas and now working in the UK and has a Visa for only there.
i'm from continental Europe, which means i am a EU citizen and can work and live everywhere i want to in Europe without any need for a visa.