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Originally Posted by Devil Inside
OK Deux..I will be awaiting your update.
Remember to be loving to yourself first.
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Thanks.
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Originally Posted by Devil Inside
Deux...one of the most painful things we can experience is to see someone we care about self destruct. There is an agony involved as we want to be there for them...but we also realize that we pay with our soul.
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I am shocked at how much it has taken out of me. I think I can feel my spark coming back...perhaps, it never really left.
He's such a nihilist. I'm the antithesis of that, I love to create.
Never the twain should meet, I guess.
It has left me doubting my own perceptions, the ground is a little shaky.
But I am alive and unharmed.
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Being NPD...her is very unlikely of being capable to ever give you what you deserve in any kind of relationship. You know this. You probably cannot help him.
You will have to be strong with your boundaries when interacting with him. He is like a storm cloud. If he is near you things will be dark and stormy...so make sure if you are going to be in his life that you have an umbrella (boundaries).
I'm sorry...this must be painful.
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Thank you for the right words at the right time.
I think one of the reasons this got to me enough to post about it, was that I've been steeling myself for him not trying to make any sort of
real effort to win me back. Just dealing with that aspect was enough, since it was pretty bad.
So, I didn't even consider that I would have to deal him full-force again.
Not really.
I wasn't prepared for it.
It was pretty overwhelming, seeing him like that...it brought out all of my instincts to care for him. I do realize that what you say is true. He'll either do something about it or he won't.
I kept trying to leave, and he kept saying, "I love you."
So I told him, "Stop."
Then I would walk toward the door, and he would do it again.
"I love you, I'll never stop."
He would act lost, and hang his head.
It was so...
staged or something. And I wasn't having it. He wasn't going to be able to do that.
Hard to explain, everything is still fresh.
Sure I'll cry it out later.
I'm not really great at expressing things that are emotional until I've had time to sort it out, somehow.
Not so wonderful at putting anything personal in writing until I've had time to let everything settle.
I am just kind of a deer in the headlights, atm.
Having those boundaries savied me.
I have a feeling he would've seduced me otherwise. Just a feeling a have, like he thought this was his last shot.
You're wonderful.