why am I angry now?

scobro · 2nd November 2005, 2:48 PM

I have been no contact for 3 weeks but I find myself becoming very angry and bitter towards my ex and I really don't know why I was fine for a while just sad ( thread "wife dumped me).I have done a lot of reading and have done the forgiveness exercises have written closure letter that you don't send but i still find myself pissed off about the situation on how and why she ended things and I do not want to harbor anger and resentment with me forever.The exercises that I did to release anger and forgive my ex I guess have not worked because I am still very angry.She sends me e-mails but I do no contact but I am angry still and resent what she did.How do I release this anger so it doesn't stay with me?. I want to forgive her but I don't think it is real just fake forgiveness to try so desperately to move on.I still hurt and am still angry It's been 3 months since she ended things and 8 weeks of physical separation.I guess I am angry because she blind sided me with it's over and now my whole life had to change and she is now dating some guy and never had to feel any pain while i get tossed aside and went through the toughest situation and stress I have ever gone through in my life but she just moves on like our marriage was nothing ,toss me like garbage end the marriage no pain or consequences while I hurt so bad it's not fair thats why I am PISSED OFF!!What do i do to stop the rage in me towards her?????please help I really need some good advice here.
Thankyou

jhurtinct · 2nd November 2005, 2:58 PM

I just recently, after a blow up, realized I hold alot of resentment toward my ex for things he has done/said. I just had a long talk with myself and decided that enough is enough if I use up all off this energy on being angry and resentful then how am I going to improve my situation.

I have gone through a life changing situation also (moved with my son out of our house) and I just need to learn to love the situation I'm in and focus all of my energy on making it what I want. Noone else is going to improve things or make things better for me other than me.

Good luck and I hope you can focus that being pissed off into improving yourself, that is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

lilmoma1973 · 2nd November 2005, 3:01 PM

Be patient and time will heal and you will be over that person and ready to move on and find the love of your life trust me i did !! It will happen .. Good things come to those who wait !!!!

Mz. Pixie · 2nd November 2005, 3:19 PM

Scot-

How do you know that she didn't hurt at some time or another over this whole thing? Just because to your outward glance it doesn't seem like it doesn't mean that its true.

I've read and I fully believe that women are usually emotionally done before they leave a marriage. I know that was true in my case. I'd already done my grieving a long time before I actually left so by the time I left I was ready to move on. Could it be that that may be the case with your wife??

scobro · 2nd November 2005, 3:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mz. Pixie

Scot-

How do you know that she didn't hurt at some time or another over this whole thing? Just because to your outward glance it doesn't seem like it doesn't mean that its true.

I've read and I fully believe that women are usually emotionally done before they leave a marriage. I know that was true in my case. I'd already done my grieving a long time before I actually left so by the time I left I was ready to move on. Could it be that that may be the case with your wife??

I know because I had to live with her for 2 months she was already dating someone with me fully aware and living with her as she talked to him on the phone as I was in the other room.If grieving is going out and partying all the time meeting a new guy all withing 2 weeks of ending your marriage then yes she grieved while I was at home devastated and confused by her actions to this.She did everything but sleep with the guy in front of me no empathy for how I felt could care less.Read wife dumped me thread and you will see.Narcissistic behaviour I don't think includes grieving over ending your marriage.

ThumbingMyWay · 2nd November 2005, 3:35 PM

Brotha

I am in the same boat....but my wife stayed and we are working on things....but I still harbor ALOT of anger and resentment and I am realizing that it is NOT HELPING us repair the damage....its like I want her to feel my pain...even thou I forgave her and want to move on and rebuild, I keep pushing the pain back to her....and its not helping...its hurting us...but I cant stop...its like its happening on its own...

so...what do we do?

scobro · 2nd November 2005, 3:46 PM

Quote:

I am in the same boat....

What happened in your situation?

westernxer · 2nd November 2005, 4:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scobro

I have done a lot of reading and have done the forgiveness exercises have written closure letter that you don't send but i still find myself pissed off about the situation on how and why she ended things and I do not want to harbor anger and resentment with me forever.The exercises that I did to release anger and forgive my ex I guess have not worked because I am still very angry.

Write several closure letters if you have to. Then mail them to yourself. It's cathartic, to say the least, and you'll be able to monitor your progress when you read them several days later.