[SweetVixen07]

I'm a college student now...but I've had this issue every since I was in high school. I can't seem to get a guy...to save my life. It seems as though guys tend to shy away from me or feel they are not good enough. All throughout high school I never went on dates...and I even skipped out on both of my proms b/c I wasn't even asked. What makes me angry is if I give a guy the "green light" but nothing ever seems to come out of it.

I always wonder if I'm doing something wrong...I shy away from a lot of situations involving guys b/c I feel that I might not be good enough. I've heard I can be intimidating, even though I'm nice. I think I'm a good spirited person...I like to laugh and have fun. Do any other girls have this problem...if so share you thoughts and insights? Also is there any way to get over this?


Tiffy

[allaboutchoices]

I just replied to you in the other section. Here it is again.

Originally Posted by SweetVixen07

It seems as though guys tend to shy away from me or feel they are not good enough.

Originally Posted by SweetVixen07

I shy away from a lot of situations involving guys b/c I feel that I might not be good enough.

Which one is it?

Sounds like you might have some insecurity issues. Why do people see you as intimidating? Could it be because you don't feel comfrotable and over-react? Laugh to loud, overly use sarcasm, etc.?

[SweetVixen07]

No I'm not really insecure...even if I am, I keep it to myself. But I'm quiet a lot of times...a lot of guys say that I can be. But when I'm comfortable around a certain person or people my personality comes out...laughing and having fun. But I'm reserve though.

[d'Arthez]

People can perceive you to be very intimidating, even though you may consider yourself shy. There is no contradiction there. Only a very frustrating situation for you.

The intimidation may be a result of you sticking to your beliefs, arguing "agressively" your positions, and being a fierce competitor, to make certain that you get the best grades and don't take cr*p from anyone.

Can't you get opinions from those around you? So that you may get a clue on why you can appear to be intimidating? It is not something you do consciously, and that makes it next to impossible for you to discover what it exactly is, that is giving others these vibes.

Are you avoiding the situations where a lot of guys are? Or are you becoming more or less "mute", in it that you feel unable to interact on a normal basis with guys? Because that does make a major difference, in this whole matter.

[glittergurl]

Hmmm, this is pretty complex, Vixen. I used to have the same problem, but things radically changed around my second year at college. I think it all changed around the time my self-confidence issues stopped. As soon as I started feeling completely comfortable about myself; I noticed I paid less attention to guys, I stopped over-analyzing everything, and things with guys became so much easier; like it all started flowing naturally. It sort of scared me in the beginning, but it's funny. I guess people do pick up on your emotional state; even things you're not necessarily aware of yourself.

But well, of course, everybody's different. I guess there could be a lot of reasons to this. This was just my personal experience