[sadfriend]

Has Anyone had a bad experience with an Online LD Relationship and/or Online LD Friendship that ended the online LD relationship and/or online LD friendship?

Would you like to share a short verison of your story?

Thank You and have a Pleasant Day!

[whattheheh?]

Hi, in a nutshell, I happened to encounter two very different guys who started off very differently but ended up being the same....commitment phobes.

My biggest fear now, is that there is a great amount of people on the net who are using emails, IM's webcams and text messaging as a fantasy-based resource to be able to express their inner-most dreams and hopes onto real live people without any thought for their words.

After a year and a half with my last online guy, I flew thousands of miles to meet a very mixed up petrified guy who had no memory of what he said on a daily basis and who sent so many mixed messages during my trip, I nearly lost it.

I am not saying all are like this but, it seems there are a lot of ego-feeding suckers who are living fantasy relationships and who really have no clue what real relationships involve. Just remember, if they say they "love" you, be very scared. Love takes a lot of time and being together through all kinds of situations. Loving someone's positive traits is different altogether.

Just be aware and look for the red flags with LDR's and commitment phobs. If it sounds too good to be true......

[Hunnytree]

I found the LoveShack forum when I googled "men compartmentalize" ... what does that tell you?

I had made this note in one of my many notebooks in the last few months and was thinking about how men do this and decided to google the thought...see what turned up. Actually a lot turned up. One comment I ran across even suggested that women should compartmentalize more.

"Men who compartmentalize everything and put women or relationships with women in a compartment labeled "when everything else is done".

I, too, have a long history of failure with anything pertaining to finding men via the internet.

I won't call them relationships. But they can last for years, consume you, and while you dwell in your fantasy, these men have you compartmentalized.

I wonder how many of you have cracked their passwords and discovered some of their OTHER compartments.

[Sinfuldelight]

Well, I've had one that was really awful. I mean, it was to the point where everyone was in on the 'joke' except me. I believed him every time he would say that we would fall in love when we met in person. He told me he really liked me and how much he cared for me. And then, just before Christmas, just like that everything was over. He lied to me about meeting.
His entire freakin FAMILY was in on this !! I swear, I had never been so torn up. His sister, who he lived with told me all this stuff, and it just, wow...
for a while I just said F men ~_~
but Im now in another long distance relationship, woo-hoo I will never learn. Will I?

[Nicholas]

I think even the people who consider their online relationships successful still look upon their online days as a negative experience.

That said, my aunt met her husband on match.com, and they've been happily married for four years or so. They're perfect for each other.

[Efficacyjewel]

Well, I havent got any bad experience but after reading so many comments, I thought to comment a bit abt my views on it. I am going very slow with my first online LDR. We have being dating online past two months but it become more of talking on the phone (international calls!) for hours. I havent committed to him for the simple fact that I havent met him and he also agrees the same. But I am hoping things should work out between us when he returns (he is coming after two months)....
Till now I had just one bad experience where he had gone for a lap dance and I even posted abt the same here (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/show...982#post633982) ...which "slubberdegullion" responed to me (thanks!) and it was exactly what i was thinking....
But from my personal experience I can say that its better to go very very slow in online relationship...Bcoz your bf/gf might say she isnt cheating but then there isnt any way to know if he or she is really saying the truth.
I have known many incidents where there is always a bad ending and also, where people have got married. But still, I felt that its up to us to make it work out. Online relationships can be exciting but it comes with lots of negative emotions too... Major factor i feel could be the trust emotion.
Its very difficult to trust someone online ... Just have faith and go slow with it !!!

[whattheheh?]

I've had two LD disasterous and time-wasting relationships with two guys who have no clue what a real relationship consists of and this is what I have learned:

A) You shouldn't be the outline of someone's fantasy or some great chase! More often than not, some tend to romanticize or fantasize who they want and project it onto you. It appears that if one pulls back, the other sees that as safe and pursues until you trust and then they bolt.

B) Consistency, consistency, consistency. If they say great words to describe how they feel about you and those words are phenomenal, they hold about as much weight as a snowflake. Someone who is honest, will show you in every way possible, including calling you regularly, showing a genuine interest in who you are and sending you any kind of affirmations that they are sincere including plans to meet. This shouldn't stop after you let your guard down. Otherwise, it's all just a game of neediness and selfish ego-feeding.

C) Talk of "love" can't be real because two people have to go through ups and downs in real time to truly know if you are compatible or not.

D) This is my hard lesson, don't wait for anyone over a long extended period of time, even if your partner asks you to because you may waste precious time on very nice words and rudely find out they were empty.

Action speaks louder than words.

By the way, after travelling thousands of miles to meet "him", I've been home six months without one phone call but oh, I just received a BCC email from him telling me he's changed his email address and would "love to hear from me". Me meaning all the other women that same email was addressed to as well.

[Efficacyjewel]

Originally Posted by Efficacyjewel

Well, I havent got any bad experience but after reading so many comments, I thought to comment a bit abt my views on it. I am going very slow with my first online LDR. We have being dating online past two months but it become more of talking on the phone (international calls!) for hours. I havent committed to him for the simple fact that I havent met him and he also agrees the same. But I am hoping things should work out between us when he returns (he is coming after two months)....
Till now I had just one bad experience where he had gone for a lap dance and I even posted abt the same here (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/show...982#post633982) ...which "slubberdegullion" responed to me (thanks!) and it was exactly what i was thinking....
But from my personal experience I can say that its better to go very very slow in online relationship...Bcoz your bf/gf might say she isnt cheating but then there isnt any way to know if he or she is really saying the truth.
I have known many incidents where there is always a bad ending and also, where people have got married. But still, I felt that its up to us to make it work out. Online relationships can be exciting but it comes with lots of negative emotions too... Major factor i feel could be the trust emotion.
Its very difficult to trust someone online ... Just have faith and go slow with it !!!

Hi Friends...well now i got something to add on to my own comment! BEfore that, I did a good thing to go slow...Coz yday I caught my boyfriend having cyber sex with another girl online!!! Now the question comes how I came to know, well the other girl was me!!! I wanted to test my guy whether he is geniune or not and he turned out to be like the ones who we meet online!!! I didnt cry for him, just felt sorry that he lost me. Also, i disabled my other fake id so he lost his newly online partner too!!!!!!! But friends after my experience, I would say that online is only for those who wanna have some fun for some minutes/hours/days...but its a rare chance for life time. You don't have emotions and feelings with online relationship! Everything is just a fake and last only for a small time.....