arghhh I'm the shy one in the office and I really wanna say something to "Judy". She's loudmouthed and overweight and single, of course, and needs either a slap or a good ****!
She's the one who will take two donuts before everyone has had even one. She will cut herself two pieces of chocolate cake first thing in the morning in case it's all gone before lunchtime just to make sure she gets a piece! If there's a bowl of candy or chocolate on the table, now it's a big joke we always push it to the opposite end, and she asks for it 3 or 4 times, and it always gets pushed back to the other end, aren't we nice. If someone has a birthday and she knows there's cake, she'll keep "reminding" us to let her know when it's time to cut the cake! Her garbage can is full of candy wrappers.
She is not shy about it, has no shame. She had been walking on her lunch hours, and has lost quite a bit of weight, but she hasn't lost the rudeness.
Today I was included in a pizza lunch in the boardroom for a monthly managers meeting. She is NOT a manager nor was she invited to the meeting. The boardroom doors were open, so she conveniently came in to ask someone a question and on her way out said "mmmm pizza" and proceeded to help herself with a piece not ten seconds after the secretary had made an "out loud" comment wondering if she had ordered enough pizza.
I really wanna say something to her. I'm not usually invited to these meetings but I have a feeling she does this all the time. The secretary noticed this too, and when I left the boardroom she asked me in front of this woman if I thought there was going to be enough pizza. I glanced over at Judy and looked back at the secretary and we smirked cuz I knew that's why she'd asked, but Judy didn't catch on.
HR is aware of this, and I honestly don't know why she's still here. I don't know anyone who isn't annoyed by her. I don't think she's that good at what she does because she's always getting caught with nothing to do and is forced to see me or others for extra projects. They had to move her to a desk in plain view because she used to sleep at her desk. Now they have to move her again because they are adding on to our building and she is losing her "window" and cried depression of all things! Oh this is funny....a while ago she wiped out in the parking lot and screamed.....nobody went to her rescue and she came in bawling cuz she scraped her elbow.
We all know what she needs but don't think there is a guy out there who is desparate enough!
I think it's rotten that a coworker (regardless of her size or love of carbs) would fall and get hurt, yell out - and nobody would come to see if she was okay. The way you write about it, it's like you think it's hilarious that she got hurt and nobody gave a damn.
I don't see what business it is of yours, that she wanders into these meetings and freeloads on the food - how is it directly affecting you? If her superiors are aware/have a problem with it, they should be the one to call her aside and ask that she not barge into meetings that don't include her.
At least she's trying to lose some weight - by walking on her lunch breaks (and you admit she HAS lost weight).....give her a break. She's likely unhappy and not in the greatest of health if she's still very overweight and obviously has such a carb addiction. Maybe she eats food to comfort herself because she knows she's not liked @ work?
I think it's mean and catty and petty for you all to purposely move the candy dish to the other end of the table. Sounds like grade 4 to me.
What really is your problem with her? Or do you really just generally dislike obese people in general?
This may sound like utter crap, but my first sponsor told me that when I really despised someone - I had to take them to coffee and ask them 5 questions I didn't know about them. I thought she was nuts. I fought her and fought her on that point.
What she was trying to show me was that what I most disliked in others was normally some fear I had about myself.
I'm not trying to go all Ghandi on you here, you may just not like this person a bit. But the suggestion of coffee is still a good one (I know, you think I'm nuts). Take her to coffee, and ask her five questions you have no idea about her. Where did you grow up? What do you think about the office? How are things going for you? Who is your greatest influence? How many brothers & sisters do you have? Do you have any pets? What was the scariest thing you've ever experienced? etc.
After asking that, if you still feel like the problems are more important to you than this individual you've just gotten to know a little about, perhaps you'd have a feel for how to gently broach the more troublesome ones. "Hey, I noticed that you've had some trouble keeping busy, is there anything I can do to help?" etc.
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"I do," "I'll never lay a hand on you," and "The check's in the mail" are my favorite lies.
I she is doing her work, arriving ontime. Then there is no reason why the boss would get rid of her. Now, I can see some coworkers are annoying but sometimes you have to stick it out. I know it sucks but there is nothing you can really do. Maybe if you would be friendly to her then you can tell her things that she should or shouldn;t do. That might help her from getting made fun of and may not annoy you all that much.
Maybe there is a way to get her moved to a different area around the office. Hang a sign on the door when you have a boardmeeting lunch. "Boardmember's only" So, that she won't walk right in. I agree with you on that that was rude. No one has said anything to her. Until then it's going to keep going like this.
I guess, she's a very very unhappy woman. With her overweight problems and these crappy social skills she very likely has not experienced a lot of romance or love in her life -- how sad is this?
This is sad. Ic an just imagine who all the woman in the office are picking on her and won't talk to her at all then they want to make comments about she needs a boyfriend. What she might really need is a friend.
I agree that some of her behaviors are sloppy, however, try to find some good in the woman.
For instance, when she falls asleep at her desk, does she let out a cute little snore?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Okay, (I have to do this too) just remember that we are all God's children and that it takes so many of us to make such a diverse world. I mean, who else would eat all the M&M's and save you guys from getting chunky if she wasn't there?
Okay, I'm not helping. I just wanted to tag this thread.
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"Well it’s time to go home
And I ain't even done with the night." JcM
Originally posted by loony
I guess, she's a very very unhappy woman. With her overweight problems and these crappy social skills she very likely has not experienced a lot of romance or love in her life -- how sad is this?
It is sad. She probably, underneath it all, is very insecure and has self-esteem issues and knows that nobody likes her, people are annoyed with her.....likely isn't stupid to the snide comments her coworkers make to her. This lady, however rough around the edges and annoying she is, is someone's daughter or sister or granddaughter......MWC - would you want someone to treat your daughter or sister this way?
Oh this is funny....a while ago she wiped out in the parking lot and screamed.....nobody went to her rescue and she came in bawling cuz she scraped her elbow.
How sad for her to work with people who laugh at her pain.
She is not shy about it, has no shame How terrible to be confident in oneself knowing they don't meet other people's prejudicial expectations.
Does she work for you? Do you work for her? Do you evaluate her work performance? Does she evaluate yours? What does it matter to you? Honestly, it sounds like the 'problem' is yours and not hers. I'm with most of the others on this.
So would it be okay if this same woman was skinny and ate all the time? Would you still hide the candy dish from her and make fun of her when she ate a slice of pizza if she had a fast metabolism and burned it faster than she could eat? Who cares if she is fat, skinny, blue, purple? What is the real problem you have with her?
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Reach for the moon... even if you miss you'll land among the stars.
Les Browning
Originally posted by New_Wife
This may sound like utter crap, but my first sponsor told me that when I really despised someone - I had to take them to coffee and ask them 5 questions I didn't know about them. I thought she was nuts. I fought her and fought her on that point.
I think I like your sponsor, New Wife. There are some people who seem a bit obnoxious and annoying at first sight, but if you give them a chance they can often turn out to be extremely likeable
Re the original post - maybe the lady's comfort eating. Understandably, from the sound of things.
It was a rant okay? I was having a beyotchy day, moreso inwardly to myself about everything. But taking that piece of pizza was the last straw for me today, and better I rant here than in her face. I thought she had alot of nerve to barge into the meeting and help herself to a piece of pizza. I don't know ANYONE in the office who would be so rude. She didn't even ASK.
I know this person well - we went on a business trips together and it's a small town, and we have mutual friends. Jealous? Nope I have my own office, she has a cubicle. I make 40% more than she does. BUT I work my azz off and don't sleep or eat at my desk and I use my manners.
Oh yeah once I brought a half dozen chocolate easter eggs in my lunch (MY lunch). She asked if I was going to share them. I said no, otherwise I would have brought enough for everyone. (Anyone who knows me knows I DO NOT SHARE CHOCOLATE and they can rant on their own about that part of my personality). It's silly to have to "hide" my goodies cuz she would have no problem reaching over and grabbing food off someone else's plate. I have seen her do this! Whether it's a carrot or a cookie or a taco chip! It's annoying and she's the only one who does it. A normal person would ask! I don't know if she thinks she is being funny or not. She has a problem.
I know alot (too much) about her personal life, because all she talks about around the lunch table is her friend's cousin's daughter's neighbor's dog, etc etc if you get my drift. It gets annoying that she tries to fit herself into every EVERY conversation. (this one time, at band camp?)
I apologize if I offended anyone about my comments about her size. That really has nothing to do with my feelings for her. She is not the only plump person around the lunch table....one other person gets all of us laughing hysterically and is a very likeable and POLITE person. Our office is a great place to work in that it is not cliquey but that doesn't mean you have to try and be everyone's friend.
HR has dealt with her, as she has a history of lateness. She doesn't report to me and it's not my job to give her work to do. Whenever I've been asked to give her extra work, she has done the job well. BUT it's data entry and stuff, and she has a univ. degree so I don't agree with giving her data entry to do for what she is making. They should give her more challenging work to do, but when they do people complain because they don't want to deal with her....such as having her implement new workplace safety initiatives at all our locations.
As for the parking lot wipeout, nobody knew what the scream was about until she went into the HR office crying. I never heard about it until our HR person made the real classy move to blab to the office about it. But still couldn't help laughing at the childishness. Maybe she was embarrased but still! C'mon lady you're 28 yrs old!
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Sorry, couldn't resist.
Hybrid Mode
