[Breathe]

A long while ago, H had a affair w/family friend and OW ended up pregnant. Everyone in the family was aware of the situation and no one told me. I found out after the OC was born - the same time H found out OW had a steady boyfriend prior to hooking up with him. His family supports OW/OC completely excepting this child is H's without question. OW denied to take a paternity test yet claims 100% the child is H's.

Well, H finally ordered a Mother-less Paternity Test Kit online. Since family and OW/OC live in another state, a relative did the swab test on the baby when the mother wasn't around. The test was then mailed to H to do swab then mailed to DNA lab for results. After 9 months, we are a few days away from knowing the truth.

H and I are not sitting on pins and needles waiting for the results. It isn't going to change anything in our lives other than provide validation so we no longer have to guess, is she or isn't she? We battled are differences many months ago. I wanted a relationship with OW/OC but H wouldn't stand to be a part of them and didn't want me to either. I've excepted things as they are. My marriage comes first and odd as it sounds, our we are stronger than ever and we are happier than ever.

My main problem is with his family's lies and deceit, as it seems never-ending. I would have preferred that someone would have talked to the OW and persuaded her to agree to the testing rather than go behind her back and do it. I know the pain in having someone you love betray you as they all lied to me as well - but to know they are doing it to OW bothers me.

I know I can't change the past, and I can't change what people say and do and how they live their lives - but how can I change myself to not let little things bother me?

[RecordProducer]

If you wanted your post read thoroughly and answered, couldn't you show some respect and use words instead of OW/OC?! Was it really such a pain in the neck for you to type the words? What the heck do OW and OC mean?
Anyhow, I admire your courage to forgive your husband an affair. His family didn't want to offend the mother and show her that they have any doubts about her being truthful. Are you sure you're happy?

[Breathe]

OW - Other Woman
OC - Other Child

Also -
MM - Married Man
MW - Married Wife
SO - Significant Other
BS - Betrayed Spouse
M - Married
A - affair


This list is endless

[jade_nc]

breathe

i'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this situation.....and in this manner. of course you don't like the fact that they went behind her back to do it.

it doesn't sound like you're letting "little things" bother you to me. this is a pretty big deal. OW could sue for invasion of privacy.

as much as you don't want it to change things, i don't see how they can stay the same once you have the results. is your H supporting the OC? once the results come back will OW be informed? it sounds like the child is young.....what's the family going to tell the child when it starts asking about dad?

[RecordProducer]

Breathe,

thanks for the list of initials.
This child will probably start visiting his dad later. He also has a right to inheritance. Sorry for being curious, of course you don't have to answer my questions, but I am wondering how can a woman have such a big heart and stay calm in a situation like this. Is your husband like very rich and powerful? Did you cheat on him too? Do you plan to have children with him? How long have you been married?