I'm 30, married with kids. Very unhappy in my marriage (with no obvious reason since my husband is a great guy)
I started to look for passion and accidentally got into relationship with the married man. He said that he has no passion in his life. His wife is nice but he doesn't love her. At first it was convenient. You know for sure that it will be discreet. Both of us are not interested in any complications. I knew its not going anywhere but I wanted the excitement, adventure and passion.
But then I started to be involved emotionally and I felt in love. He doesn't share the same feelings toward me and made it clear that his family is the first priority for him. I'm a beautiful woman, independent, smart and sexy. He is much older then me. Yet I'm trying to impose myself on him. Feel upset if he doesn’t contact me, I invite him over etc. It's a first time in my life that I'm not a queen in the relationship and man doesn't worship me. I know it's disrespectful toward myself and very disturbing. But I feel a deep pain when I think that I need to let him go.
I never told him what I feel because it will scare him out. I think I want two different advises: first, how to get out of this without much pain. And second, maybe there is a way to make him fall in love with me, to keep him?

"how to get out of this without much pain."

1. Not possible. You're gonna have some pain from it. Not sure how to tell you to lesson it either.

"maybe theres a way to make him fall inlove with me, to keep him?"

2. You can't MAKE anyone fall inlove with you. They either do or they don't.


I think your best bet is to call this whole thing off with the MM. I'm sure it wont be easy, but if you're unhappy in your marriage and want to work things out with your husband then get into some counseling. You stated you "accidently" got into this relationship with a married man. Thats not an accident hun, you weren't happy so you searched for something from someone else that you weren't getting at home. If you don't want to work things out with your husband you should break it off with the MM, maybe divorce your husband and find someone who is not married. Good luck.

[Pocky]

If you loved him you would let him do the right thing - you would end the affair and encourage him to work on his marriage. Loving someone means wanting them to find happiness, even if that happiness is without you. So loosely do we use the word love nowadays...

[JoL]

The only reason you want him to fall in love with you is because- you said it- you have never NOT had a man treat you like the queen.

You are looking for happiness in the wrong place. If you are unhappy in your marriage then be honest with your husband, try to work it out- and if it doesnt work- then end it..THEN try and find love elsewhere.

You have complicated things for yourself ten-fold by having an affair.

Just be honest with the MM..end it now, before the mess gets bigger and bigger.