[confusedincarolina]

I need some help.. My ex says that she loves me, but isn't in love with me anymore. And at this point, with my emotions all over the place, what exactly does this mean. How can I tell if maybe I'm in love with her or not. We spent 4 years together and were best friends. But she just packs up, leaves and immediately starts dating someone else.

Any insight would be appreciated.

[ECVegas]

There is a distinct difference between loving someone, and being in love with them.

You can love a friend or family member, but they can't satisfy the emotions that come with being in love with someone.

I loved my ex-wife as a friend, but fell out of love with her. I cared about her and tried everything I could to ease her pain and make the break up as painless as possible because I cared about her.

But I didn't look at her as the woman I loved, and I wanted to spend time with someone who could fulfill that for me.

If your girl is dating someone else, it sounds like she has moved on. But at the same time, she still cares about you as a friend...that's all.

You deserve to be with someone who is "IN LOVE" with you. No one should wait around for someone to fall "back in love" with them (not that she is expecting that...but that's what it seems like you are waiting for). You need to focus on you and your happiness.

Time will heal your break up with her, and the faster you accept it the quicker you will be over her and able to move on to find love again.

[confusedincarolina]

Thanks ECVegas.. A lot of what you said I've already thought to myself. Its just hard to accept because I'm still in love. I can't imagine falling out of love with her. But you're right, I deserve to find the right person, and unfortunately she's not the one. It sucks to admit that, especially after giving so much for so long.

BTW, what does ECVegas stand for? And thanks again.

[ECVegas]

If I told you what ECVegas stands for, I'd have to kill you!! ;-)

I'm an east coaster that now lives out west.

Seriously, admitting she's not the one is half the battle. Time will take care of the rest.

You'll be fine.

Good luck!