[Strider]

Well, guess I will start off with background of my relationship. My fiance and I are both virgins, sexually inexperienced before we met each other, in our early twenties. While we dont have vaginal sex, we pretty much do everything else. I, being a typical male, like doing sexual activities, she on the other hand does not find much interest at all. Before we met, she had never masterbated or really thought of doing anything sexual. Since we been together she has tried to masterbate, but does not get any pleasure from it. When we are together she has good feelings when I am touching, licking, etc. her but she has never orgasmed. At first this was not an issue with her, we would do stuff on average once a week or more. But lately she does not have any interest in fooling around and is upset that she is not more inclined to be sexually active.

Through talking with her, I found out that she thought that I was not doing something right. But then she started talking with her sister and her sister told her that she could not orgasm until she figured out what she liked being done to her by masterbating. Makes sense now that my fiance tried masterbating a handful of times out of the blue. Next thing she told me shocked the hell out of me. Since my fiance had the mindset that it was something that I was doing wrong, or not right, she asked her sister if she would "teach" me how to please a woman. Her sister said it would be too uncomfortable for her, I would of probably said the same. Even though her sister is very good looking, it would be weird for me being around her afterwards, that and I dont really desire to be with another woman.

Which brings me to my question(s). What, if anything, could I do to get my fiance more sexually active? Are there any other girls here that have had problems reaching orgasm that could share how they were able to reach it.

[Maria46]

The only time I have had problems is when I am not relaxed.


I have a feeling that she is too worried about not having an orgasm and that is keeping her from relaxing and enjoying. And you trying so hard to please her may make her worry more. You two seem to be getting frustrated.

Take it slow and enjoy each other's bodies until you get totally confortable with each other.

She seems to be quite concerned about this to actually ask her sister to teach you (which I don't think would be advisable).

Bf and I have great satisfaction when we make love, but we also enjoy just touching each other. There are so many places on the body to touch and explore.

I suggest that you two quit trying so hard. Relax!!!!

[Strider]

Take it slow and enjoy each other's bodies until you get totally confortable with each other.

Well its not a new issue, been going on for 6 months or so. I know you are on the right track on being relaxed, but its difficult to tell her that. Trust me, I am totally comfortable with her body, maybe too comfortable Now that I am thinking about it more I could probably improve situation alot by creating a better atomosphere, candlelight, soft music in background, etc. That might keep her from concentrating on trying to figure out what feels good and what doesnt to enjoying the moment.

She seems to be quite concerned about this to actually ask her sister to teach you (which I don't think would be advisable).

Although I would fantasize about it, I would never do it in reality. She has a much more of an open love than I do. She has repeatedly said that she would care if I was with other people as long as I still loved her. Where I on the other hand would get mad of her thinking about being with someone else.

Thanks for taking time to reply Maria