I was introduced to my friend's brother a few weeks ago when we went to this party. We all went to go eat afterwards and he and I talked to each other the whole entire time. I took it as a friendly engaging conversation. But when I spoke with my friend, she thought it was him flirting with me. And she also said that he expressed interest in me, but then he found out I had a boyfriend, so there was no hope for him...
Anyhow, we ran into each other again last week at another party and talked for a lil bit. Before I left, he asked me if he could call me sometime...
.. I didn't hear him the first time around.. then I went "huh?" and he did the Telephone gesture thing with his hands and repeated the question... I was feeling a bit 'tipsy' so I just told him.. "yea yea whatever sure" and left the scene... - If you paid close attention to the story, I never gave him my phone number. But I am friends with his sister so.. maybe he was going to get it through her? Iono..
Originally posted by calna
I guess my real question is: Why is he asking me if he can call me sometime if he knows that I have a bf?
Are you 100% certain that he knows this? Your friend said that he knows, but did you ask if he knows, or did you tell him? Additionally, if you did not mention to him personally that you have a boyfriend, and you spoke with him and said that he could call you (even if you were not in the right frame of mind, and did not mean it), I'm sure he may have the impression that you are interested despite the fact that you have a boyfriend. I would talk to this guy about it, let him know you have a boyfriend, and there is no chance of dating. Explain that you could see him as someone to talk to once in a while, as a friend, but nothing more.
If the guy does know you have a boyfriend, then he could either just be persistent, confused about your feelings for him, or disrespectful. Either way, to get that answer you are going to have to ask this guy why exactly he seems to be pursuing you when you are in a relationship.
Surely if he really respected the fact that you have a boyfriend, he wouldn't have asked if he could call you. By saying "yeah, yeah whatever"...even though you may not have meant a definite YES, well you definitely didn't say a definite NO and have therefore shown him that YOU don't have much respect for your relationship (even if it wasn't your intent - that's just what HE'LL have seen)....setting the example for him. He thinks that you're not too bothered about your boyfriend and has therefore swooped in.
Well there is more to the story.. in between those 2 times we met.. me and my bf broke up for various reasons.. but I hadn't announced it to Anyone yet.. It was a 4+ year relationship that wasn't going anywhere... After it ended, I felt like I was going to be alone FOREVER! I'm not interested in this guy that much.. but sometimes I feel like I need someone else to forget about the ex.. even though it is wayyy too early and sort of wrong to use someone like that.. Good thing he hasn't called! I'm starting to like this Independent Woman stuff.
If you don't like him, then what's the problem? If you want to let him down easy, just say you just got out of a relationship and aren't ready for anything.
Some guys will take that as, "Ooooh booyah! Rebound!"
Others, like me, will take it as, "Wuh oh...so much for that...."
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