[ETM]

I have been separated for well over a year now and have been seeing someone. When is it ok for me to let my soon to be ex know about this? Can she use this against me in court since we are legally still married? It's very unfair to the one I am seeing because she deserves to be known to everyone. Before any of you post about my concerns over money, STOP. The woman I am seeing lives very far away from me and our line of communication is the telephone for the most part except when I do get to see her. If my soon to be ex uses this against me and gets even more money, I wont even be able to have a phone. So just answer if you can be useful to what I have asked please. I don't need any comments on money.

ETM

[LaSeñorita]

I see your post has been up a while w/ no reply, I wish I could give you some advice but I've never been married I don't think I can. I think it's messed up though how you have to wait so long even though you are seperated.

Good luck.

[bunnyloveisbest]

Really depends on the law of the country where you are located - in the US, whether you are in a no-fault state or otherwise. The wisest thing to do would not be to allow your legal wife to find out in any event, since this is a factor which may be taken into account when deciding the other issues such as division of matrimonial assets, maintenance orders etc. you don't want to pay more alimony than you have to. In any case, if she finds out about it, she will be able to petition for divorce on the grounds of adultery/improper relations. I am assuming that you currently have no grounds for divorce at present, since desertion is not an issue and you have not been separated for long enough.

Hope this helps.