[Camel77]

Hi there, I need some advice here. I've been with a girl for about 4 years of rocky relationship, you know, constant fights about nothing. Last year we finally broke up. And I think it's good for both of us. Since then however I found myself unable to find a date! Very recently a very hot girl asked ME out, you can imagine I thought it's a mirracle, I was attracted to her and she found me attractive too. well we did go out. Once. And that was it. Thought everything was OK, we had a nice dinner,then went to the movies, hugs, kisses etc,made plans for next day, and the next day I get message to be just "friends". I still wonder, did I screwed up, what did go wrong and when? I still see her but she's become cold and withdrawn. Hm. Fight or just move on?
Confused.

[iwanttolive]

I have not even begun processing your story and my instinct screams in panic mode "STOP, FREEZE!!!"

Digesting your story now. You might or might not do anything wrong. But if she wants to be just friends, respect her wish. If you continue to pursue her, she might resent you for not giving her the space that she needs. Pursue her further and you'd conjure a negative image of you in her head, something in the like of a needy and wimpy guy.

The only way that could possibly salvage your chances with her would be getting your life together and taking things in your stride, a mark of a respectable gentleman.

I don't think your bad relationship experience causes you to be less attractive. You're just a little paranoid, like the rest of us.

[samspade]

Your first mistake was going on a long dinner/movie date. First dates should be brief (less than an hour) and over drinks. Long dinner dates between strangers are awkward and eventually boring...you need to leave her wanting more and keep it light and fun. You also don't need to be spending money on dinner and movies with someone whom you've barely kissed. Save that for long term relationships. Who knows? By asking you out, maybe her plan was to get a free meal and some harmless chit-chat with an eventual "friend."

I don't know enough about the rest of the date to tell you what you might have done wrong. But I DO know you should be taking the lead and asking out plenty of females. Don't focus on one for now. When you're with her keep the conversation light and flirty and be sure to tease her. Remember, a woman should be qualifying herself to you, not you to her. They already have plenty of orbiters chasing after them.

[Camel77]

Hey, I just wanted to thank Iwantolive and Samspade for great responses to my thread. I agree with you in 100%. You just opened my eyes on some things. Thanks again.