Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
Ok, I am back again uh oh. My fiance just had a girl find him on myspace and she told him she wanted to call him and catch up and talk to him about her brother (they went to school together years ago). He told me he went out with her YEARS ago (he doesnt' remember the exact year but remembers where he worked at the time and who he dated (and became serious with) after her. She used to be his younger sister's best friend in high school (is the same age I am) He said she always used to have a huge crush on him and that his sister talked him into taking her to her prom (he'd already graduated) because she couldnt' find a date. He said it was a few years later that they went out on a few dates. He said they slept together one time and he didn't like her that much. He doesn't include her in the list of people he's "dated" as in was serious with or was boyfriend/girlfriend. He said they really didn't have a relationship other than going out a few times.
He had told me about her when we first started dating because we saw her out one time and she came over and said hi to him and to me and he introduced us. I guess his sister had recently started talking to this girl again and they are friends now. anywho... he told her he is engaged (she knew this heard from his sister i guess) and he said if it was ok with me she could call him or text him. I said ok no problem, mostly bcause I was curious. Well she text him and he showed me the text (I was there AS she was texting him.) She told him she'd been wanting to talk to him for a long time and that she still had feelings for him and couldn't hold it in anymore. That she wants to be with him and has always loved him. Said her heart flutters when she thinks about him. Now this is a 30 year old woman saying this crap. I got upset because to ME it sounds like there was a heck of a lot more going on between them (as in they did more than just casually go on a few dates) than he told me. He swears that no, they just went out a few times, he never told her he loved her, they just had sex once. And it was like 10 years ago. She was married and divorced a few years ago and he said she called him then but didn't say any of this. He told me I could text her if I wanted (he was there) so I just told him what to ask her.
He asked her why she didn't tell him right after she got divorced and she answered bcause he was with (me) and she didn't think it would do any good. Ok so now hes' STILL with me and we are ENGAGED and this is a better time to tell him? She said she has always loved him and is so so sorry for not giving him more of a chance and for not telling him how she felt back then- HOW SHE STILL FEELS. He basically told her look I'm flattered but I'm engaged and in love with angel, she's the best thing that ever happened to me, but even if I wasn't with her I wouldn't be interested in you because we don't have much in common and I just see u as a friend. she responded by saying thats ok bcause she just started dating a great guy a week ago and he is amazing! lol. whatever. then she goes on about how she'd like to be good friends with him again and she misses talking to him. THat she wants him to be happy and is glad he is engaged to me.
But then two minutes later she tells him she has a bad feeling about me and that it isn't going to work out. Swears she 's not saying that because she likes him. She says it is her intuition and that even his own sister knows how she feels about him and approves and thinks she should get with him. He tells her that he is very happy and he doesn't care what she thinks. that he has NO feelings for her and that they just casually dated and it was eons ago and he has no interest in even talking to her so please leave him alone. She responds with "you mean you would throw our friendship away just because I HAD to tell you how I feel. I had to get it off my chest and that scares you so you say you don't want to talk to me anymore?"
he tells her she is acting crazy and he doesn't want crazy in his life. That they were never close so he doesnt understand why she thinks they were such great friends (they haven't talked in two years which she acknowledged!) And she says she saw him out somewhere with me and that she hurt that he ignored her and didn't talk to her. He said he didn't even notice her there (we didn't).
My question is- is this chick crazy or is my fiance not telling me the whole truth about their relationship (like it was much more serious back then).
Also weird, he will NOT call her and tell her over the phone that he doesn't want to talk to her (I asked him to) he just will text her.
Well, the past relationship may have seemed a lot different , been a lot more important to her than him. Way. And that happens. So, you have to give him the benefit of the doubt here and you cannot be retroactively jealous.
The thing is that....crazy or not - it is now his job to not only stop communicating with this bitc* but also to prevent her from being able to contact him and reach a hand into your life.
Thats his job. He needs to step up to the plate. He may enjoy her crushing, may even enjoy you feeling a bit threatened...
You are engaged to be married. He better take care of this. Now.
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"She looks like the real thing She tastes like the real thing My fake plastic love."
Radio Head
I was listening to the ongoing engagement, presumably all via text, going on right in front of the fiance, which sounds good (full disclosure) but then the fiance wonders if he's telling the whole truth. Why is that?
I'd like to get the OP's take on his assertiveness level in their relationship before commenting further. It's just an instinct I'm having about words and actions matching. He's talking (texting) convincingly, but there sure seems to be a lot of it, even with the 'don't talk to me' and 'you're crazy'.
Why doesn't he want to talk to her on the phone? He could do that with his fiance right there and settle things in a positive way.
I can't believe people carry on these kinds of communications over text.
If he won't speak to her on the phone and end things, then he needs to stop texting with her. His actions need to match his words - if he really doesn't want to keep talking to the woman, then he needs to actually stop talking, er, texting, with her. Why can't he just stop replying to her texts? Why is that so hard?
"He asked her why she didn't tell him right after she got divorced and she answered bcause he was with (me) and she didn't think it would do any good."
I'm a little interested as to why you and your fiance are feeding this woman???
The above quote is not one that indicates no interest. I wonder why you wanted to engage in this with her? I think you guys should have just ignored her. Or at most, sent a text saying "not interested, thanks". The end.
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