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Girlfriend away for the summer


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Old 1st July 2009, 8:17 AM   #1
johnny12
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Girlfriend away for the summer

Right so my girlfriend is away for the whole summer been with her around 7 months and her family live aborad in this time she is spending a large chunk of her time with her family and then 4 weeks with her friends backpackin. I am cool with this and I trust her. She has been away 1 month now so just under 2 months to go. We have been speaking daily be it online through msn or via emails or facebook messaages some times all three on different days . However over the last few days I have become massivley insecure , and she has just mailed me telling me she is getting harrased by local men followed and touched up on nights out ...

My problem is why tell me this stuff ? She is incredibly good looking and I sometimes feel I am punching above my weight and I hate these thoughts and Its making me crazy - i think its because i am not very busy at the moment , i find myself feeling crazy about the whole thing.

Needed to vent my feelings some where annonimous and get other peoples thoughts....
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Old 1st July 2009, 8:48 AM   #2
filh
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dump her
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Old 1st July 2009, 9:40 AM   #3
Surfer Dude
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She is testing you man, to see your response, whether you're insecure, jealous, whatever. Little girls like playing these headgames to see if their guy is still the same guy they fell in love with.

Be unfazed. Tell her "A girl felt me up today, it was so strange. Why would she do such a thing? Then she talked about unicorns. What do you know about unicorns?"... Goof around, be playful, don't take her seriously, don't take yourself seriously.

And always... keep seeing other chicks. Think of your LDR as of your occasional partner abroad. That way you'll never get desperate about any one girl, nor will you get desperately attached.
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Old 1st July 2009, 9:54 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Surfer Dude View Post
She is testing you man, to see your response, whether you're insecure, jealous, whatever. Little girls like playing these headgames to see if their guy is still the same guy they fell in love with.
I agree with SD. Some girls (the immature ones anyway) do like to play this game. I had a friend that played this game on her BFs all the time. Such a waste of time.
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Old 1st July 2009, 10:46 AM   #5
johnny12
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I agree with SD. Some girls (the immature ones anyway) do like to play this game. I had a friend that played this game on her BFs all the time. Such a waste of time.
The thing is , I dont think she is a person who is immature or who plays these games ! In her defence she talks to me freely about everything however I am not sure if she realises what a strain this type of talk puts on me and my thinking. Maybe I am being naive.

My instinct is to question why she feels the need to tell me about that but I think I will just ignore it hint that i dont like it .... I have had plenty of offers by girls since she has gone but would not ever tell my girl about it ..

The good thing is its more of a slime sleazy guys coming on to her not hot young guys that i have to worry about i suppose but still
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Old 1st July 2009, 10:52 AM   #6
Lyssa
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Originally Posted by johnny12 View Post
The thing is , I dont think she is a person who is immature or who plays these games ! In her defence she talks to me freely about everything however I am not sure if she realises what a strain this type of talk puts on me and my thinking. Maybe I am being naive.

My instinct is to question why she feels the need to tell me about that but I think I will just ignore it hint that i dont like it .... I have had plenty of offers by girls since she has gone but would not ever tell my girl about it ..

The good thing is its more of a slime sleazy guys coming on to her not hot young guys that i have to worry about i suppose but still
Perhaps it's also a way of her trying to tell you that she might want to explore other guys.

If it bothers you, you have to talk to her about it. Do not bottle this sort of thing up. It's not good. You gotta ask her why she feels the need to tell you all those stuff.
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Old 3rd July 2009, 1:42 PM   #7
Adunaphel
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Originally Posted by johnny12 View Post
Right so my girlfriend is away for the whole summer been with her around 7 months and her family live aborad in this time she is spending a large chunk of her time with her family and then 4 weeks with her friends backpackin. I am cool with this and I trust her. She has been away 1 month now so just under 2 months to go. We have been speaking daily be it online through msn or via emails or facebook messaages some times all three on different days . However over the last few days I have become massivley insecure , and she has just mailed me telling me she is getting harrased by local men followed and touched up on nights out ...

My problem is why tell me this stuff ?
Please get to talk to her (on the phone if possible) before jumping to conclusions.
"Harassed" and "touched up" are quite strong terms... and you said that playing games is not an habit of hers... so perhaps it might be a good idea to check whether someone has been *actually* harassing her. If something unpleasant happened she might be in actual distress and needing some support from you.

If she is just playing games...and plans to continue having nights out and allow other guys to "harass" her... well, perhaps it is time to really reconsider your relationship.
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Old 3rd July 2009, 1:51 PM   #8
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It seems like she is just making conversation. I think almost everyone can attest to telling their partner about moments when someone has made advances towards them. I have told my partners before just for comical reasons and they have told me. I've even shared moments when girls have hit on me. So what's the big deal?

Yes, everyone have their insecure moments. There is always someone else in the world who. Is more handsome, smarter, and adventurous and etc.. but if you believe that she is true to you and vice versa then just focus on your relationship.
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Old 7th July 2009, 8:14 PM   #9
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I see. Even in your original post you said she said she was being 'harassed' though. Does't 'harassment' generally equate to 'the girl not liking it/feeling uncomfortable about it' to you?
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