My boyfriend is going to his ex's going away party?

Tallgal85 · 30th June 2009, 6:16 PM

So here's the thing, I can't decided if I am overreacting or in the right about this one. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months officially, however we have a multiple year history...long story. He cheated on his ex with me,(for over 2 years o n and off) and broke up with her for me. However, keep in mind, this is the girl I competed with for years to get him. They haven't spoke in over 5 months, but she called last night to tell him that she was moving away, and he was invited to her going away party. He has full intentions on going, which upsets me on its own, but on top of that, he had already agreed to go to another party with me that same night. When I reminded him of the other party, instead of answering with what I wanted to hear(oh sorry, I'll call her back and tell her I already had plans) but says that he can do both, he'll just come late to the party with all my friends and family. I thought awesome so when my friends and family ask where he is I get to say he is seeing off is ex. Am I overreacting cuz I don't want him to see his ex in fear old feelings may rise, or am I totally right for the way I feel??
Please give me your opinions, thx!

rjmars · 30th June 2009, 6:30 PM

I mean, she was a big part of his life, and she IS leaving. So that part in itself wouldn't bother me so much. Especially if it's a going away party. She'll be the focus of all of her friends, and it's not likely that they'll do anything sneaky. Just sayin'.
BUT, the fact that he was cheating on her with you for so long before finally choosing you seems like a BIG problem. Obviously he was being really indecisive (he wanted to have her and be with you at the same time). Personally, I would never be with a guy if I knew his heart was invested somewhere else. But, your choice to be with him regardless is your business, not mine.
My advice for you right now is just to let him go to the party. She'll be gone soon enough, and it seems harmless. Don't act mad or jealous, just let it go.

AlektraClementine · 30th June 2009, 6:31 PM

I think you're worried because you know this guy is a cheater (considering he cheated with you). Sucks to be in her place, doesn't it.

Don't mean to bash. But to answer your question, no you aren't overreacting. You have every reason to think he'll cheat on you.

jnj express · 1st July 2009, 4:14 AM

Very simple and proper way to solve the problem, he can go to his ex's party, but only if you go along, he doesn't need to do anything more than make a token appearance to say good bye, and then the both of you can leave----He is now in a relationship with you, and you need to make it plain and simple, if he wants to go, it is with you , and if he can't live with that solution, then maybe he needs to think about being by himself again, because now he is choosing her, and the situation over you, and that ain't the way relationships work, HE IS EITHER WITH YOU OR HE IS NOT, he doesn't get it both ways.