[jasminetea]

I've been a believer in CBT (basically no emotion is born without a thought behind it) for a while now and I've worked hard at implementing it, but with very little success.

Yesterday it was put to me that while we exacerbate our feelings/emotions with what we think, sometimes that process is far too quick for the thought to be conscious and thus they are not able to be questioned and put into perspective.

So, it would seem to me that the thought in a case like that is not so much 'thought' as an ingrained, instinctual belief about the world and as such can't be questioned when it arises and before it instigates the emotion. It can only be addressed after the feeling has occured and any actions taken as a result of that feeling. Addressing the thought after the circumstance seems to have very little effect on stopping it occuring again.

Is there a solution to this? Is there another way to address this inaccurate and damaging thinking or beliefs?

[Meaplus3]

I can tell you this technique takes practice. It's not like one can change negative thinking patterns over night. You also have to really want it to work. Another thing and I can't stress this point enough, you need to find a therapist that is real good at teaching this. I ditched my last therapist because he was not helping. My new one is. He is very trained in this area. Don't give up.... as it does work wonders.

Mea

[jasminetea]

Thanks Mea, I guess I get disillusioned, and I have to say life sometimes gets in the way, you know? I don't always seem to be able (want?) to find the time always. I guess that's also part of those negative thought patterns. They all seem to come back to finding the right therapist!

So, you've seen big changes for yourself? Are you now actually able to challenge the thoughts quickly enough to stop yourself from reacting negatively? I find myself getting angry too quickly and I'd love to be able to slow that process down.

I also have issues with 'do I really want to change?' Being angry is such a safe place to be. Does that make sense?

Thanks for the input

[Ronni_W]

Originally Posted by jasminetea

Is there another way to address this inaccurate and damaging thinking or beliefs?

Jasmine,
CBT is helpful to learn ways to interrupt thoughts and feelings that have already arisen but, as you say, that is still a reactive "tool".

You could use those incidents after the fact, though. Once you're on you own, go over it in your mind and explore exactly what and how it triggered you -- what were your immediate perceptions and feelings that made you react the way you did? Was there a different way of looking at it? Or a different way that you could have responded, instead?

You can also work to change or modify your faulty/limiting beliefs and distorted perceptions when everything is peaceful and calm. It's about finding your answers to questions like, "What's going on for me that I think 'being angry is such a safe place to be'? How did I arrive at that conclusion? Safer than what? Is it REALLY as safe as I'm thinking it is? What are some other 'places' that might also be safe...or even safer?"

Or. Let's say you know that you always get pissed off when waiting in a long line, or when someone is late for an appointment, or whatever. You can look at those situations when you are NOT in them, and do a more objective/neutral appraisal of what goes on for you, internally, when you are in them.

There are some 'free to copy pages' on the following site that deals with negative core beliefs -- scroll down just to below the "hit counter" that's on the left. http://core-beliefs-balance.com/

It's not easy work, but it is rewarding work. I know what you mean about getting impatient and irritable with yourself, and becoming disillusioned when we don't see results as fast as we'd like. I would encourage you to be kind and compassionate with yourself once in a while, too...as difficult as that is, sometimes.

Best of luck.

[jasminetea]

Ronni - once again, thank you so much. Its good to be understood and both you and Mea have been great at that. Also, thank you for that site, I'm checking it out now.

I'm glad I started this thread.