[NotSureWhat2Do]

Ok so I don't have a problem w/ my husband drinking every now and then. I drink a few myself here and there. Only when we go out to dinner or out to a bar, which is not very often. He on the other hand can sit at home and drink from 3 to 12 beers a day. He usually does this when certain friends come around. Which has been atleast 4-6 days a week lately. I talked to him once about it and he informed me that I knew he liked to drink before we got married and he doesn't do it like he use to. I let him know that it was all fine and dandy then but now we have a 3 1/2yr old to take care of. He should come first not the alcohol. He just got pissed and yelled about how he would do anything for me and our son. After a day w/ out drinking he then had 1 or 2 for a couple of days and now it is still going on. It got worse when he and his friend have been watching a movie in the garage that all kinds of cursing and things a 3 yr old should not see or hear. When our son kept going out there he would yell that he needed to get out and go play. He only wanted his attention and he diserves that. My son refused to go to bed w/ out his dad so his dad let him stay up until 11pm on a school night (preschool). I was pissed and we had words but then again the next night he tried the same thing I threw a fit and he just got mad at me again. He wanted to let him stay up w/ him again and I took my son to bed around 10:30pm to put him to sleep. My husband just got pissed and tried telling me that he was fine and I know that he chooses us and would do anything for us. But that's not true if he can't slow down and take responsibilty for his child. He is being immature and stupid. Am I wrong for this? I don't think so, I am to the point I am going to pack my **** to show I am serious. He needs to put our son first and the right way. It is not responsible letting a child stay up that late and then sending him to school to me miserable. He takes my son fishing to try and make up the time. But all he does there is have a few beers and then what. He could easily fall into the water and drown, by then if he is too busy drinking he would even know it until it's too late. I am tired of the lying and the sneeking around w/ drinking. I catch him all the time and he will push it to the side saying it is someone elses. He does the same thing w/ cigarettes!

[bean1]

Well, I won't tell you what to do, but I will tell you this: my mom and dad had the exact same situation, and I spent every weekend of my childhood crying myself to sleep wishing my mom would take me out of an alcoholic home. She never did, and stood by when he kicked me out at 17 while he was so drunk he could barely stand.

That was 10 years ago and their situation is still the same. If you are going to leave over it then MEAN IT. Empty threats go nowhere and they get old reaaal fast (my mom's been saying it for over 30 years now).

Don't let that happen to your kid.

[NotSureWhat2Do]

Thanks, once I am gone I have no intintions of ever coming back. I am not going to let my 3yr old grow up in it. Even if he claims to have stopped it will still be over. I can't do this kind of crap and I won't let my son be a victim in it.

[Consquential_Angel]

Hi, I have only just joined this forum but saw your message.

My Ex is an alcoholic. It started out pretty much the same as your situation. It does gradually get worse (unless your husband wants to stop drinking). We have 2 children together and they were the driving force that made me leave.

I spent way too long with my Ex, we experienced way too much as a family. My children are still very young and will hopefully not be too affected by what us as adults put them through (him for drinking and me for being too weak to leave sooner).

My life has changed so much. I am now truly happy.

Please be strong. Dont give him an ultimatum, it wont work. He will just find a way to smooth things over and the cycle will start again.

Addicts are fantastic liars and manipulators- they have to be.

My Ex is a good man but we deserved better, it wasnt our problem that he couldnt get off the drink. The AA meetings I went to with him, the times I sat up all night when he couldnt sleep from the lack of alcohol in his system.

Think of yourself and your child.