Hi,

I've been casualy seeing a new guy for the past two months. We're getting to know if we are the right people for one another, still going through the uncertainty stage. I enjoy the time we spend together but lately I've been feeling a little...frustrated. Here's the situation. I live at home and my house is pretty small. There's not much privacy for us to have some alone time. I'm not saying I need a place to have sex! But, I am saynig that we havn't had a change to get to know eachother on any sort of intimate level. He lives at home as well but his house is full of little kids running around us while we watch t.v. When we hang out at his place, we just sit beside eachother, he puts his arm around me, but that's about all we can do.

So, what should I do? He doesn't seem to know either, or maybe he doesn't feel ready for us to be "alone." Hell, I don't even know what kind of a kisser he is because when we go out for a drive, he only gives me a peck on the lips. I'm beggining to loose faith that we will never be able to have time to ourselves. A woman does have "needs" ya know?

I guess I'm a bit spoiled because my past relationships involved people with loads of privacy and we had plenty of space to talk and all that good stuff. Don't get me wrong, I still happen to be a virgin, I just enjoy spending intimate moments with my new guy. It does help me get to know him on another level. What do you suggest?

[Ed]

Sounds to me like you want to have a roll in the hay with him. Are there any empty barns nearby?

Seriously...if you enjoy the time you spend with him, don't rush the other stuff, it will come (pardon the pun) in time. Once you have sex together, he will probably want to have sex with you EVERY TIME he sees you.

Take it slow. Enjoy the ride, in the car, and later, with him if things work out that way. Enjoying just being together is something you can share for a lifetime.

Sex will be there and then it won't. Of course, since the advent of Viagra, sex will be around longer than it once was. One day, you may wish Viagra had never been invented, but I hope not!

P.S.

If you do decide to, and have the opportunity to, have sex, please take precautions against unwanted pregnancy and, the dreaded, unwanted STDs that abound.

[Tony T]

You need to have a talk with him, straight away, and let him know what your thinking is on this. Your dates are very unusual. I'm assuming there are no other people in the car when you go out. There is no good reason why he hasn't made a more meaningful move on you.

Maybe the next time the two of you are out, ask him to go to a park or something and make a move yourself. At this point, you have nothing in the world to lose.

If this guy doesn't get a bit more intimate in the relationship, move on. Right now, it's pretty well at a dead end.

[yes]

I think lots of ppl get into these troubles... it's just not comfortable in a house when parents are there... it's kind of cold in a park - winter - so the only choice is the car - which is ihhh... not the most comfy place. i know lots of people end up going to tons of movies just for that - some time alone, in the dark...

ANy ideas of other places??

You need to have a talk with him, straight away, and let him know what your thinking is on this. Your dates are very unusual. I'm assuming there are no other people in the car when you go out. There is no good reason why he hasn't made a more meaningful move on you. Maybe the next time the two of you are out, ask him to go to a park or something and make a move yourself. At this point, you have nothing in the world to lose. If this guy doesn't get a bit more intimate in the relationship, move on. Right now, it's pretty well at a dead end.

[Ed]

This is exactly why parents won't let their daughters go out with guys who drive motorhomes.

maybe he's just shy? maybe you're his first girlfriend, tho you did say that the two of you are only casually dating right? some guys are painfully shy when it comes to being intimate (not even going so far as to having sex). maybe he's not picking up any signals from you that you'd like to spend more alone-intimate time together. maybe he's afraid of scaring you off, or you thinking he's too bold or pushy, or that he's only after "one thing." If he's never had much experience with girls in the past, he likely doesn't have a clue to do and is afraid of messing up. sad thing is that so many guys today are trying to get into a gal's pants on the first date that any guy who doesn't do this is somehow seen as weird or uninterested or lame. maybe he was just raised to treat women with respect and to go very slowly?

Hi, I've been casualy seeing a new guy for the past two months. We're getting to know if we are the right people for one another, still going through the uncertainty stage. I enjoy the time we spend together but lately I've been feeling a little...frustrated. Here's the situation. I live at home and my house is pretty small. There's not much privacy for us to have some alone time. I'm not saying I need a place to have sex! But, I am saynig that we havn't had a change to get to know eachother on any sort of intimate level. He lives at home as well but his house is full of little kids running around us while we watch t.v. When we hang out at his place, we just sit beside eachother, he puts his arm around me, but that's about all we can do. So, what should I do? He doesn't seem to know either, or maybe he doesn't feel ready for us to be "alone." Hell, I don't even know what kind of a kisser he is because when we go out for a drive, he only gives me a peck on the lips. I'm beggining to loose faith that we will never be able to have time to ourselves. A woman does have "needs" ya know? I guess I'm a bit spoiled because my past relationships involved people with loads of privacy and we had plenty of space to talk and all that good stuff. Don't get me wrong, I still happen to be a virgin, I just enjoy spending intimate moments with my new guy. It does help me get to know him on another level. What do you suggest?