[bchlvr]

My ex and I belong to the same organization. I hoped I could maintain my involvement behind the scenes, but even that may be too painful.

The past 6 months I've had no contact and have tried to avoid her in every way. Last week, I saw her with a group in passing. I did not make eye contact with her, just said a generic "hello" to everyone in the group.

The week before, I bumped into her at a meeting.

I simply could not engage in any conversation or eye contact because I knew I would break down and did not want that to happen in front of her. I also knew that if I engaged with her in any way it would just make what is already very painful all the more acute.

Though she tried to get my attention by giving me some paperwork, I simply couldn't bring myself to have an exchange of pleasantries. I just said thank you and kept very busy.

It would be nice to nod, smile and keep going. But what if you can't even smile?

So, if you in effect ignore the ex who dumped you, who treated you unkind....is that (albeit not justified) rude? Must we be nice at all costs?

I'm actually wondering the same thing. I dated someone for five years. They broke up with me one evening and I never saw or talked to them again. A few months ago I was out with my spouse and saw this person who I had actually not thought about in years. They saw me and turned and ran the other way. The strange thing is that this has opened up old wounds and thoughts that were long gone over twenty years ago. I have an amazing spouse and can't in the least figure out why this is bothering me. So in answer to your question - how do you react? I'm not really sure but I definitely know that running in the other direction is an immature cop out and definitely not impressive.

[JCD]

I think after time passes, you'll accept your situation and won't care to be angry at her anymore. You might still have some feelings for her but you won't allow yourself to analyze everything she does because you'll become tired of it and just want to move on with your life. At least this is how it's been for me so far.

[alphamale]

I dont know. Usually I dump them so if we meet by chance in public they are the ones avoiding me. The few times I've had to interact with an ex I just treated her like anyone else in the room, no better & no worse.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm still friends with most of my exes so it's not an awkward situation, although like alpha, I've always been the one to end the relationships. Any that I'm not have drifted away because of physical distance more than anything, except the last one.

[b52srock]

I still run into my ex, almost on a weekly basis, and I'll tell you, its not easy. The divorce (after 18 years of marriage) has been final about a year and a half, and we have to communicate with each other over our two teenagers. Most of this communication can be done via email or text messaging, which I can handle with no problem. Running into him, face to face, however, is a completely different story.

I usually just look straight through him. If I ignore him he's not there, right? On the other hand, there have been times when I've been a real B*tch and actually stopped and smiled happily at him and chatted him up a bit. Generally I do this when his wench (and that's a polite term for her! *LOL*) is within earshot or can see me do it.

I know...I'm horrible! *LOL*