Married male lover is now fooling around with other men

16th August 2005, 6:03 AM

I am involved with a married man. It all started 2.5 years ago...he pursued me relentlessly, and I thought he was single. I found out he was married, but could not stop seeing him (chose, I know).

We "broke up" several times, but the energy and sex between us is incredible, and now I don't think I will ever stop seeing him. Believe me, I have tried to hate him, but am seriously addicted.

Here is the problem. I recently found out that his infidelity includes males. I know I must stop seeing him, for my own safety, but should I clue his wife in? He never uses condoms. I know...that's BAD, so don't need to be told so. He is my only love interest - I need to shake him. HELP!

Breathe · 18th August 2005, 7:17 AM

Someone needs to tell his wife for her own safety. Send an anonymous letter or phone call, have a friend tell her if you don't want anyone to know you it's coming from you. BUT TELL HER. Whether you like the wife or not doesn't matter. She is someone's daughter, maybe someone's mother, sister, aunt, cousin, friend.... someone somewhere loves this woman and she is worth having a full and healthy life. Relationship aside, marriage aside - this is someone's LIFE. TELL HER!!

newbby · 18th August 2005, 8:48 AM

i agree, tell her.
also, protect yourself, it may be addictive right now, but once it wears off, what are you left with? a broken heart, and a disease.

Marie1973 · 18th August 2005, 11:19 AM

Yuk that is sick

Make sure u don't do anything with him.

In this case, i would send an letter & warn her.

This could be life threatening................

GROSS!!!!!

whichwayisup · 18th August 2005, 11:29 AM

Definately TELL HER. WTF is his problem?? Having mulitple partners, both men and women and not using condoms??? Talk about putting people's lives at risk, let alone his own!

Tell her, tell her, tell her! ASAP!!!

LucreziaBorgia · 18th August 2005, 11:49 AM

You will absolutely, positively have to go get yourself checked out and pray that he hasn't given you anything yet, or at the very least has only passed along something that can be treated. A man who f*cks around like that without condoms is basically playing with a loaded gun. His chances of contracting HIV/AIDS are pretty high.

Seriously... the wife needs to know, even if it is anonymously. It would be better if you told her yourself, so that she would not be able to be in denial about it. It would effectively end your relationship with him though - you say that you are addicted to him. I guess you'll have to take a long hard look at your addiction to him and ask yourself if it is worth you and another woman possibly contracting HIV/AIDS over.

Tell her now, so that she can get herself checked out. You at least know what you are exposing yourself to by continuing to sleep with him, but it isn't fair to her to have a husband who plays Russian roulette with her like that without her knowledge.

mopar crazy · 18th August 2005, 10:53 PM

Yes, tell the W, she needs to know. Her health is at risk. I would send her a letter. If you call her or talk to her in person she may lash out at you. If she lashes out at you, hangs up, whatever, you may not get the chance to tell her everything she really needs to know. W/ a letter she can read it and you wont be there to have her yell at you or get abusive (if she is abusive).