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One that got away?


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 30th January 2018, 7:09 AM   #1
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One that got away?

I really need help/advice!!!!!

6 years ago met ex. Started off as hooking up, 9 months in it dawn on us that we were in a great relationship. Niether of us expected it. He was 8 years younger and moving away.

I received a heartfelt letter a year later saying how he been immature and loved me.

In the past few 3 years we've had contact; always initiated by him. We chat and he says he just wants to make sure I'm OK. He has a girlfriend so I'm always cautious.

Anyway he recently started drunk messaging me several times saying he still loves me and can't get over me and is messed up from obsessing over us and asked me if he's made a big mistake losing me.
This hurts because I do still love him.

I brushed it off saying you're drunk. However the last time I decided to be honest and replied saying I will always care and have feelings and this hurts me but it wasn't fair on me or his girlfriend etc it was an open admission on my part.

However he hasn't responded or acknowledged my message.
I don't understand? He could've responded and drawn a line in the sand. He's not one to play games but is he simply being selfish? Or using me as a crutch?
Anyone have an objective opinion or experience of this? Thanks
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Old 30th January 2018, 7:41 AM   #2
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Maybe his not responding IS him drawing a line in the sand. After all, you did tell him it wasn't fair to you or his girlfriend.
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Old 30th January 2018, 7:57 AM   #3
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Yep, you're right. I suppose I hoped for an acknowledgement but as you said perhaps it's already been done.
Thanks
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Old 30th January 2018, 9:35 AM   #4
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I think that when he messages you, he's just trying to get a reaction out of you (any reaction), and once you replied, his mission was accomplished and he went back to ignoring you...
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Old 30th January 2018, 12:52 PM   #5
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I can understand your thinking but I don't think he operates like that or is calculated.
I just don't understand why he contacts me when drunk.
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Old 30th January 2018, 4:06 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Independent_girl View Post
I can understand your thinking but I don't think he operates like that or is calculated.
I just don't understand why he contacts me when drunk.
Of course you understand, you understand fully.

All his nonsense, stolen moments, he can't get over you but he'll only tell you when he's drunk (and out of his girlfriend's radar)

You say he's not one to play games and yet he's playing games! And emotionally cheating on his girlfriend, so again, what is it you don't understand about this guy?
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Old 31st January 2018, 7:34 AM   #7
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I suppose it depends how you define 'playing games'.
Do you think it's emotionally cheating? It's pretty crap right.

He's now apologised, said he was selfish and won't do it again. I have to respect him for taking it on the chin and apologising.

Sad I still have feelings for him,argh!
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