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do all MM pull away when..

The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 28th January 2018, 10:09 PM   #16
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By agreeing to a relationship with a MM with kids, you are also agreeing to be his last priority. He still has obligations and the role of a dad/husband to play. That stuff will always come 1st no matter how highly he thinks of you. I'm sure that feels bad but it's something you must accept if you want to continue seeing him.
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Old 29th January 2018, 1:03 PM   #17
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My ex-MM would do this from time to time, although on the whole he was always available and made sure of that. In a way it's irrelevant, and I'd echo what other people have said here. It's not *normal* behaviour in a relationship, and you need to figure out why you're ok with it. We all deserve to be with people who care about us enough to prioritise us...and when our partner is going through a crap time we should be able to support them through that. The dynamics of an affair mean that can't usually happen. It was something I struggled with, being shut out, as I really wanted to support him. The funny thing is our relationship was all about him, at no point did he think about my needs and what would support me.

Just because something is common, and most MM withdraw, does not mean it's ok.
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Old 1st February 2018, 6:46 AM   #18
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It doesn't happen in every relationship, and if he pulls away from you completely in order to focus on someone else, then that clearly demonstrates to you where you fall on the list of priorities.

OTOH it IS normal in a relationship to redistribute time based on need. If you were dating a completely-divorced man with kids, and one of his kids had a crisis, it would be normal and expected that he would probably have less free fun-time with you for a while in order to focus on the needs of his child. But that divorced dad shouldn't drop you completely because he was busy, as that would suggest you didn't have much of a relationship. If his kid were in the hospital he might not want to take you dancing but he should still want to talk to you, for support if nothing else.
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Old 4th February 2018, 12:12 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Savannah2 View Post
Do they all pull away when they are having difficult times in their marriage?
It was the opposite. Difficult times in his marriage sent him looking for love elsewhere.
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