mistyhazy Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Hi everyone, after reading through pages and pages of pain, hurt and sadness of the OWs or OMs in affairs and trying to let go but having a hard time to do so in this forum, I would love to have your personal opinions on what exactly makes an affair so addictive and so hard to quit? Thank you all very much!!! Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 u can go out in sun, ride a bicycle, play with small children and get those sweet little highs... or.... u can sniff and get a wham high....Affairs belong to this second group , far from reality, close to convinience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobouspo Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 The short intense highs, feeling wanted and loved (no matter how distorted). It's very much like an addiction to drugs. The short intense highs like sex in the office or car, and/or sweet and seductive texts are addicting, but the subsequent crashes leave you empty, frustrated and helpless, but you keep going back and wonder, how did I lose control? How did my life turn into such a mess? Like meth or heroin, affairs can and do ruin lives. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Attention Affection Secrecy Fantasy Secluded from real world/real problems Ego booster 6 Link to post Share on other sites
deadsoul Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Hi everyone, after reading through pages and pages of pain, hurt and sadness of the OWs or OMs in affairs and trying to let go but having a hard time to do so in this forum, I would love to have your personal opinions on what exactly makes an affair so addictive and so hard to quit? Thank you all very much!!! Lack of self-love addictive personalities (I compare it to alcohol or drugs, even though I've never been addicted to either) highly emotional. Need for outside fulfillment, rather inner fulfillment "the high" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
donbar Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 FoundMyStrength summed it up perfectly. I'm sure it's ok to quote below.... "I don't know what it is, but I suspect it has something to do with the unique parts of an affair. The secrecy and the time constraints make it so every moment feels valuable and special. The APs know it could all crumble at any moment, so you feel this need to say everything you feel aloud so that they KNOW you love them, you admire them, you adore them. My xMM and I never meant to turn our EA to PA but it happened one time, and that first kiss was the best kiss I have had or probably will have. We had just built up such an unfulfilled longing for touch. That's the affair, though. The bubble. In real life, you kiss when you kiss. You meet when you want to. You say ILY when it's appropriate, not at the first opportunity for fear you may never get another chance to do so. Unfortunately affairs feel so good, it's sometimes hard to step back into real life bc it pales in comparison." That's how it felt to me. The intensity of every little moment. The exquisite joy of her touch, her words, her kiss, her face. So very hard to let go.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RewindRomancer Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 75% of an affair is fantasy. It's called the "affair bubble." Nothing in the world matters except the AP's and their passion. The outside world doesn't exist. It's an intoxicating, addictive experience. Link to post Share on other sites
ice3784 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Let me share my current situation. Affair started 3 years ago. The perks : we both want each other badly. He steal time for me. Felt im so important. He lied her so that he can be with me. He must have love me. Every minute together is not enough. We wish we can be together. The surrounding pressure us. We wish to walk together in public. Hence we steal vacation and it motivates us more. Affair blown up. His wife choose to move out. We live the dream of our life. Walk into his house. Dinner with his family. Festive with his parents. Not yet officially a wife but known as the wife. Im happy. But affair slowly died. Nothing speacial. Im here everyday. Wife choose to come back. He wants her. Cos he had me. Nothing much to chase for. Summary. People want what they dont have. And when u have it. You want something else..something new... Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Summary. People want what they dont have. And when u have it. You want something else..something new... Correction Summary. SOME people want what they don't have. And when they have it. They want something else..something new... YOU were very happy with the way things turned out. YOU had him to yourself and YOU settled very easily and happily into domesticity and "boredom" as it was what you wanted all along really. He, as a cheater, with the cheating mentality, was almost immediately on the look out for something else... something new... Link to post Share on other sites
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