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Struggling


headstrongAZ3030

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headstrongAZ3030

I posted that I was ending my relationship with said MM. And I have kept my word. But I am struggling so badly. He has contacted me and I respond.

 

Last night I asked him to please make it easier for me. To just move forward in his life and let me take the time to heal.

 

I got another message this morning.

 

Downside is... I put him as blocked on my phone, deleted his contact info... but his text message still come through.

 

Oh... I miss my iPhone sometimes....

 

Today I am sad... Incredibly sad, I can't concentrate, have no idea what is happening and a F&C*#D up my hair...

 

Whats next?

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Your head knows its best to let go but the continued contact plays tricks, lets you feel hes chasing and cares. You gotta do better for YOU! If you can't block him, dont reply as hard ad that is, its keeping you stuck.

When he gives up and quits messaging it is hard too. Its just better to go completely dark like your dead and go on alone.

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It is SUCH a struggle and I'm sorry that you are hurting so badly. Good for you for keeping your word up to this point and not falling back into it. Hang onto that momentum.

 

If you do talk to him, yes it will feel better for a time, but you'll be right back where you were before - not moving towards any sort of positive future for yourself. Closing yourself off from meeting someone who is fully available to you. It has to end sometime, the question is whether you're going to keep going with the momentum you already have, or go backwards and then have to go through this same pain again later.

 

If you do fall off the wagon though, get right back on. Whatever you do, don't take the attitude of "it's hopeless, I'm too weak so I'm just going to settle for less." You know that isn't true, the fact that you've gotten this far is proof.

 

I'm not saying this in a preachy way, by the way; I'm struggling to end an affair myself and have been making efforts but have not been perfect.

 

Hugs and best of luck.

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Starbright78

Take one day at a time, that's all we can do. It will get better and I have found it won't feel so 'raw' after time passes.

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