lostinlust80 Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Wondering if this is the common practice within affairs? The first time around, my AP and I didn't discuss feelings but this time around (yes, I went back for more) he's telling me he loves me - although no promises have been made to leave our relationships. It's hard for me to believe someone would say that if they didn't really mean it? Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Not all of them do, and those who do, sometimes do mean it. At least in the heat of the moment. Some don't. They manipulate. Hard to tell what kind yours is. We can't tell you that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SleekArchitecture Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 I agree with Minnie. I have read of men telling a woman they love them in a week long relationship then go MIA. But I believe as females we have an embedded implant that allows us to know if a man loves us authentically even if they have not declared it yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Yes, all of the time. And said he had fallen in love with me as well.. He took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes and told me what I meant to him and what he wanted with me, which was to share a life with me, etc. I knew it would never come to fruition, but it was nice to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnimon Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 I have read from a few on here that said ILY's were never exchanged. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Nope. The reason is because we were never in love with each other. Cared about each other? Immensely. Feelings for each other? Absolutely. But love? No. How could we love each other when we could never date like normal people and get to know each other like a normal couple? If he had said ILY to me I have to be honest, I probably would've been a little freaked out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbow00 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 No, and I never said or felt in love with him either. I think I was in love with the rush he gave me. I never let myself even play with the idea of love with him. But I did care about him a lot. It's funny he used to say he cared about me so much, more than he cared about himself, which I always told him to his face I didn't believe it. He kept telling me and trying to show me he cared. It sucks because right before he broke up with me, I finally told him I believed him. and then this happens... Link to post Share on other sites
veruca salt Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Oh yes we both did say I love yous, we're soulmates we belong together, he used to tell me I was the best thing that happened to him What a bunch of Crap he fed me, and he sounded so sincere Link to post Share on other sites
lookingforclosure Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Oh yes we both did say I love yous, we're soulmates we belong together, he used to tell me I was the best thing that happened to him What a bunch of Crap he fed me, and he sounded so sincere Heard all that as well Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Sun Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I got: "I've loved you more than I've ever loved anyone." This was right before we said goodbye. The crazy thing is, I think he really meant it. Link to post Share on other sites
solostand Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Mine told me he loved me all the time. Said he had never been in love before me. Yeah, right. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 A million "I love you's" from him in a million different ways...then when he broke it off he said "I will ALWAYS love you" that was the hardest one. Link to post Share on other sites
msblissful Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Yes he says he loves me my MM. He also shows it in little things he does. Texts or calls every morning and night, buys me flowers and gives me little personal gifts silly things like his favourite hat, his old driving licence, keep sakes, movie ticket from our date. And there's about 2o messages through his work day aswell. So I guess I believe he shows me as well as saying it which I think is important Link to post Share on other sites
Blu72 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 No we have never said ILYs. He's not the wear your heart on your sleeve type of person. But he did say something to me the other day that is probably the closest he has gotten to expressing real feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Yes, lots of I love you's. In public. In private. I also got the "I will always love you." I think he means it when he says it. What that "love" actually represents is another matter altogether. Link to post Share on other sites
Healthier Me Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 We never did. (It was hard for me NOT to, because I am a very expressive person) He claimed he never said anything that he couldn't promise. I both respected that and was hurt at the same time. But I don't put a lot of stock in those tricky words, anyways . My h says it at the drop of a hat- his whole family does, but as someone here said, actions speak louder than words. My h has no actions to back up that phrase. Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 My xAP said it from day one -- early and often and the whole thing lasted less than three months. It was strange because he kept pressuring me to say it. I told him I liked him, I was attracted to him, etc. but really didn't know if I was in love with him and he kept saying 'i know you love me, sunburned, or we wouldn't have this special friendship' or something similarly slimy. I'm embarrassed to say I finally said it because it seemed so important to him. Something I read on LS a while ago suggested that MM say "I love you" quickly because it's something they can "give" to their OW without ever having to "prove" it or follow up. In other words, the OW can't come and say "MM, if you really loved me, you'd spend more time with me, leave your wife, fix my sink ... etc." Because all the MM has to say is "hey, you knew I was married." In your case, you said you went NC and then went back. Maybe to get you back and keep you hooked, he figured he'd up his game and trot out the ILYs. You don't have to buy it. Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 No, he has expressed his true feelings by other roundabout ways of telling me. Link to post Share on other sites
tryingto Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 After a few months, my exMM told me he loved me all the time, that he never felt for anyone the way he felt about me, I was the love of his life, etc. The issue at the end of the day was that his actions did not come close to matching his "loving" words. Link to post Share on other sites
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