hopieebug Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Hi, im really not quite sure how to use this website, but i've been struggling with this issue and haven't really had anyone to talk to about it. Anyways... So I used to go to high school with this guy. Back then he was really shy and always had a huge crush on me but never confronted me about it. Then later on, after I graduated, I began working at this store. It just so happened to be that he was the manager there. Me and him began talking and getting to know each other. We had a connection since day one. We started to become great friends, telling each other everything, inside jokes and what not. I loved that I could be myself around him.. About a year passed, and he started to gain feelings for me. Then I started to feel it too. We started flirting more and still had a great relationship with each other. We work almost every day together so we're not apart very long. Except, here's the bad part. He has a girlfriend who he lives with and they had a child together not too long ago. He always tells me he wishes he wasn't in his situation and he wishes it was me in that situation instead. I always try to put myself in his shoes and realize how hard it would be to give that up for her and the baby. But it really sucks not being able to hang outside of work or how she gets mad when she sees us texting. Later on, he's been telling me how he's falling for me and he loves me. He's also been bragging to coworkers and friends about me. He gets jealous and mad just like we're in a relationship if he sees me flirting or talking to other guys. Because he's in his relationship though, I've been trying to distance myself. I really love him and want to be with him but I don't know what to do. It's also hard considering I see him every day and I'm with him for a long period of time. I need help Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 It would be in your best interest to seek employment elsewhere. You think you have pain and issues NOW, just wait until you've started sleeping with him. Which you will (if you havnt already) as long as your there with him everyday. It will be hard, but much easier then it will be if you continue to allow this emotional bond to deepen. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 If it's a chain store, ask to be transferred to another branch. If it's an independent store, you may want to start looking for another place to work. Very few people can remove themselves from this situation and continue working at the same place. He feels stuck in his relationship, but what is he willing to do about it? Nothing. He's not going to leave her and his child. He's going to sleep with you, leave you high and dry, and you're going to be the one hurting, while he goes home to his family. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria_Smellons Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I agree with the others. The only way you can begin to disconnect yourself from this situation is to physically remove yourself from it. It may hurt now, and I'm sorry that you are suffering, but this will only get worse if you continue what you are doing. You have a chance to get out now before it gets even messier, I urge you to take it. Look for another job or transfer, and in the meantime keep chats with him at work strictly business related and as brief as possible. Lose his contact details. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Majormisstep Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 This situation will not end well for you hopi unless you request a transfer or find a new job. If his girlfriend is already mad that you two are texting, she will lose her mind if she discovers there's more to the story. Possibly even report you two to the head manager. He is not stuck in his relationship. He chooses to be there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Yes, I also agree to get a new job, or get a new boyfriend who can replace him in your heart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 You have known since you started there that he was in a relationship. Why did you allow yourself to 'get to know him' in a less professional manner? Don't become "that" girl. Stop flirting with co-workers. Work is for work. There is no future for you and this guy. None. Find a new job, as in now. And FYI - his girlfriend has every right to be angry at her partner spending his time at home texting with some girl at work that has a crush on him. He should be tending to the baby or helping around the house, not playing games with you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
snl Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Kindly stay away for your own good. Lots of pain and suffering can result from this. Try to maintain NC and avoid contact as much as possible (if you really cant then keep it to very minimum). You deserve undivided love and attention and not to be a 2nd choice or kept on the sideline till he is ready to make a move. this is your journey of course but love yourself most and dont go down this path would be my advise....keep strong. Wishing you all best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopieebug Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Thanks for all the advice guys. The dilemma I have with finding a new job is that one, i've actually been trying and looking and no employer is serious. Two, at my job currently I have so many hours and more pay than minimum... And three, I love the people I work with, besides him. I have tried to cut him off completely, by blocking him and trying to keep conversations as just business, but it's hard. Especially, before all of this, he was my best guy friend. He knows when I'm mad and I've tried to talk to him about all this and how we should stop talking to each other but he doesn't agree. Now he's starting to say, how he wants to meet my parents and wants me to meet his. He's trying to get serious.... But I don't want to be that girl on the side. I've never been in this situation, and there's so many other good guys who want me... But I'm just stuck on him and thinking about what we could be. But I see the way he treats his girlfriend and son (which is GOOD, except for talking to me).. I just don't know. Sorry, also. I'm just venting and need someone to talk to. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
snl Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 You know what you want but now you need to execute. It is not east I know but you have to do it. For you... if you can't look up help through friends or therapists but stay away. when you crossed from friend to affair your friendship ended. Forget for now to bounce back into friendship. It sucks so bad . I know. But it's fact. Keep busy and one day hopefully you will get out this addictive affair "drug". I wish you love and happiness bUT the right person who is available. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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