sparkle5821 Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 This is my first time posting so I'll try to be very brief about my situation. Thanks in advance for any insight you might have. I am a MW and got involved with a single man. We had an affair that lasted for about 8 months. I found out he was going behind my back, so I ended it and we didn't talk for about 9 months. My birthday was coming up and he texted me "Happy Birthday". I responded with a thank you and from there we started texting again. Just friendly things, nothing sexual. I remember the times we had fondly but I know I made a huge mistake and it's over with him. I have no intention of going back to him or seeing him. And being friends with him is fine. But here's what he's doing: we talked only one time to catch up, and text the rest. He was supposed to call me, but that was four weeks ago! He never called me back. But he texts me. I am getting sick of this because he knows he owes me a phone call and he keeps putting me off. Is it because he knows he has me hanging and enjoys it? My question is this....I want to say goodbye to him, but how do I do it? I don't want to text him goodbye (mainly because I want to say some things in actual words, not texts to let him know we're really not "friends"). Or next time he texts, should I ignore him? Or...does there even have to be closure? Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
BlueeyedJonesy Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 Change your number. Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 Change your number. Agreed. Then he can't text you or call you, and you won't be waiting for him to do either. I'm learning the 'just friends' idea doesn't work. I'm being treated by my AP as a 'friend' and its killing me. Just let it go. It will be easier before you're sucked all the way back in. Link to post Share on other sites
Hazyhead Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 I don't mean to sound confrontational, but if you are married then I dont think it's fair to say to your affair partner that your relationship has to be exclusive. I can completely understand how it can hurt when he goes with somebody else, and I can understand even more if it was the lying about it that bothered you so much, but at the end of the day you're with somebody else too - every day of your life, and trust me that feeling can be a horrible one for the other person. It sounds like he's not worth your effort anyway, if he doesn't respond with the level of communication that you want. I recently posted a 'how to say goodbye' post and the general concensus was that you cant - you have to move on for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparkle5821 Posted January 6, 2010 Author Share Posted January 6, 2010 Thank you so much for all your replies. It does make sense, that if I cannot get the closure I want from him, I should get the closure I want for myself by moving forward. It did hurt alot that he went behind my back, but that's in the past. What I didn't expect was that he would actually keep me waiting 4 weeks to return a phone call. But, now I see him as he really is. And if I continue to stick around, I'm the fool. Link to post Share on other sites
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