Agent_99 Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I was active on this board in the summer of '08. In fact when I looked myself up, my last post was almost a year ago. So why am I posting? Well I'm still involved in an affair with a MW. Oh No! Oh Yes! Just to be clear, I'm a lesbian. We went through hell and back and then took another trip to hell. 2 DDays. her girlfriend stalked and harrassed me. I had to involve the police finally. MW and I didn't talk for months last fall. I started dating. Then we saw each other one day. . . It's now a long distance affair, as I have moved about 4 hours away. We DID stop sleeping together for a while after I moved, because I had moved in with someone and it was seemingly getting serious. But when that ended, her's was the shoulder I cried on. We're best friends, lovers, and I'm at peace with it all. I'm also dating other women. She knows and accepts what I have to offer her, my friendship and occasional weekends together, either when she comes here, or I go home to see family. I also accept what she has to offer, friendship and ocasional weekends. She also knows that someday I'll meet someone that I'll be ready to committ to. I still understand the implication that I would NEVER want to be the BS. But I'm no longer in so much angst and pain. She is quite simply the love of my life. ~Agent Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 It sounds like you are very happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Nice to meet you, welcome back. Glad to have ya! I wish I could get to a place of peace like that. Was there ever a time when you wanted/expected more? If so, what was the catalyst that changed things for you? Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Why won't she leave her partner to be with you? 2ddays? I don't know who is worse the bs who is now giving her a third chance or you the ap who has been through 2ddays and they have not left for you and declared their love but continue sleeping with and making the bs believe they are faitful. Sad situation for you and the bs. Great one for the cheater. Best of both worlds. When you find someone you want to commit with will you continue to see your cheater and cheat on your girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Agent_99 Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Nice to meet you, welcome back. Glad to have ya! I wish I could get to a place of peace like that. Was there ever a time when you wanted/expected more? If so, what was the catalyst that changed things for you? Thanks Fallen, BB, and Herenow! As to your question Fallen ~ Oh my I still would love to have more with this woman, but I've also accepted that she will not leave her ltr gf. In the past I have been in a lot of pain over the whole thing. I tried NC several times, but never could make it stick. Last fall when her gf started harrassing me, she went NC. MW and I worked at the same place and her gf went as far as trying to get me in trouble at work. So MW said NC, and it turned out it was mostly to protect me. I was devastated. It was almost two months until we talked again. During that time I started dating. Which helped a lot. Really the biggest thing that brings me peace is that I have accepted our relationship for EXACTLY what it is, with no expectations. And because I am dating other women, I'm not holding onto half of a relationship. ~Agent Link to post Share on other sites
Author Agent_99 Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Why won't she leave her partner to be with you? 2ddays? I don't know who is worse the bs who is now giving her a third chance or you the ap who has been through 2ddays and they have not left for you and declared their love but continue sleeping with and making the bs believe they are faitful. Sad situation for you and the bs. Great one for the cheater. Best of both worlds. When you find someone you want to commit with will you continue to see your cheater and cheat on your girlfriend? Hi Greengoddess I vaguely remember you. I'll answer your questions, but if you had read my post, some of them wouldn't have been asked. She doesn't leave her partner because she has a child who has only known her and her gf as parents. They have lived in the same home the whole time. And she is thinking of her child's stability and security. Because of MW childhood, she has a very strong need to provide certain things for her child. As for the other part, that business is between them. And what is between MW and I, is what it is. Why SHOULD I expect her to leave her partner and declare her love for me? Actually I think it's sad all around, MW is caught between the life she has and someone else she loves. The first Dday was mine, the second her gf's. I'll never force a choice again. It would be like being with someone who was single and didn't want to committ. It's not my place to make them choose, it's my place to decide what I am willing to do. And NO if I find someone I am willing to committ to, I will stop seeing MW. I have once already. She knows this, and accepts our relationship on my terms. Hope this answers your questions. ~Agent Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Hello Agent99!! Welcome back!! Nice to see you again. TF Link to post Share on other sites
Author Agent_99 Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 Hello Agent99!! Welcome back!! Nice to see you again. TF Thanks TF. This place was amazing support when I needed it, and I just want to give some back now that I've been in THAT place. I know that my A never ended, but for some that is what they want. and I have over 2 years of experience and insight to offer. ~Agent Link to post Share on other sites
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