does anyone find contact attempts a little liberating?

[mybrowneyedgirl]

so ive been NC with xmm for a while now. it was his doing, he sent the email. days after the email i called him. i didnt know if it was just another ploy to win her back or what. he said we needed to be NC. i obliged. havent tried since.

 

its been a very hard road for me. im trying to do my best to win back my husband. i have faith that we're on the right track, but its hard at times. especially since im still grieving the loss of my xmm and the way the A ended. it can be very dark and sad and lonely at times.

 

he still tries to contact me at work. told me he loves me a few weeks ago. he hasnt called or anything of the sort. those attemps at contact have left me even more of a confused mess than before. but a few days ago he came to talk to me yet again. i blew him off, like i do every time and told my husband.

 

for some reason this time i felt a sense of pride that i didnt buy into his attemps. afterall, does he think i would come back to him after this? and what is he looking for? does he want me to hold on to someone who says he cant even contact me?

 

anyway now i feel better. this poor pitiful man obviously isnt as focused on his m as he thinks he is. and it feels almost good to blow him off. i feel like the ball is in my court now instead of in his. it makes things a little easier.

 

anyone else?

[jj33]

Good for you glad you are feeling better. I wasnt proud so much as furious with him that he would carry on when nothing had changed... but it should make you proud that you dont give in. Keep up the good work. jj

[whattodonow12]

MBEG

 

I am glad that you are doing better and feeling better. If you want things to work out with your H, I hope that they do All of this stuff is tough, very tough. As for me, I still feel confused and upset, but not as much as I did before. I am hoping that it will get easier in time. I felt crappy today because I sent out a mass text to everyone in my cell phone listing wishing them a generic Happy Thanksgiving holiday, then it dawned on me that MM got it too. And, I didn't want to contact him I don't want to give him any affirmation of any sorts, at all. I know that I should delete his contact information.

[StoptheDrama]

It can be very liberating - relish in your success! That will help you when you waver/question yourself. My xIDIOT, sorry MM, just tried again yesterday. Made me shake my head, roll my eyes and laugh. But it feels damn good to turn him down and even better to not be interested. People say 'fake it til you make it' but it feels amazing to not have to fake it anymore. You are on the right path. Be strong and you will find one day soon that you will not hurt and you will not want him any longer.

[MizFit]

This is an interesting topic.

 

DDay happened 2 weeks ago and my xMM has been away from his W for 2 weeks while at work (oil rig)...DDay happened the night he was waiting to be flown to the rig so they haven't set eyes on each other since all came to light.

 

Long story short...he passively tried to contact me by some well placed items on his profile on FB, then I had an event on Sunday and he left me a message on my home phone hoping all went well and also making a comment that was geared to get a response. I responded with an email and was met with another message at home, left while I was at work. Yesterday we had an exchange of relatively curt emails and last night he rang and we spoke for a half hour. I know full well I shouldn't have returned any contact, but I did. When he said he was going back to his wife (which he always had said he would do, he never lied to me about that) it chopped me off at the knees. I have to say that having him contact allowed me a closure and a strength I've struggled to find since it happened.

 

He is still going back to his wife and I firmly believe he was looking for a bit of strength from me to face her for the first time today, but the feeling inside me is that he is hurting as much as I am and it wasn't one sided. Today I actually feel like I can get on with things. There will be hope for quite some time that things don't work out between them, but I won't obsess about it (much anyway). DDay was like a kick in the gut and hugely crushed me...the last few days leveled it for me a bit.

 

I live in England now and am having a gathering in my house for Thanksgiving on Friday...for the last few days I was seriously contemplating canning it because I could not get motivated to cook for myself, let alone 15 or 16 others. Now, I can't wait. I don't know how long I'll draw strength from that, but having that bit of closure and knowing he initiated it has given me new life.

 

Hope you all have a great holiday week...